AROUND THE LEAGUE: WEEK THREE
Jason Gregor
October 28 2010 03:49PM
The game many of us grew up playing or watching will once again have to face one of its deepest and darkest secrets now that Graham James is back in Canada. This time around, I hope the hockey world embraces the victims and sets the stage for other victims to come forward because the hockey world will support them too.
THE ARREST
Early Wednesday morning at the Pearson International airport in Toronto, James, the convicted sex offender and former WHL coach and Hockey News man of the year, was arrested by members of the Winnipeg Police Service. On October 13th, Winnipeg police issued a warrant for James' arrest in connection with charges of sexual assault and other life-ruining acts involving three complainants, one of which is former NHLer Theo Fleury.
When the warrant was originally issued I wondered if James would have the guts to ``Man Up`` and do the right thing. He was living in Mexico and had he chose to stay there it would have taken years to extradite him back to Canada. He could have remained in hiding and never faced the music, which based on his past history is what I thought he would do. I applaud him for returning to Canada to face his charges and finally doing the right thing.
Sexual assualt or abuse is still very much a taboo topic in society and maybe even more in hockey. Hockey, and in fact most sports, have always tried to maintain an image of toughness filled with lots of bravado and machismo. Showing weakness was, and sometimes still is, frowned upon. Unfortunately history shows that in hockey and in real life turning a blind eye to allegations or rumours of sexual abuse is the norm.
In 1996, James was arrested and charged with sexual assault against two minors. Former NHLer, Sheldon Kennedy was one of them while the other chose to remain anonymous. James plead guilty in 1997 and was sentanced to three and a half years in jail.At the time of his conviction he admitted to over 350 sexual encounters with the boys.
In 2009, it was revealed that two years earlier James was actually quietly given a pardon by the Justice System. I don't want to focus on how someone could have allowed that to happen, but the Federal Government has since said it would crack down on pardons to avoid similar situations.
The James case will re-open wounds for the victims, but unfortunately many of us prefer not to hear or read about. When James was charged in 1996 many people around him didn't believe it. They thought James, who used to be a teacher, was a great guy.
I wonder if some choose not to believe it, because they'd rather just not deal with it?
It must be very disappointing that many Canadians don't want to deal with this type of abuse and are more apt to look the other way, And yet the victims, who have already suffered tremendously are forced to find the strength and courage to face their demons head on and in this case in front of the media spotlight.
THEO FLEURY
Theo Fleury has recently released a best selling book about his abuse at the hands of James and has become a spokesperson for sexual abuse.
I had Fleury on my show and asked him to explain why it took him so long to finally be able to talk about his past.
"I really needed to be ready to do this so it would have the biggest impact. I don't think it was in people's best interest to see a guy in front of reporters or talking about it in documentaries who was still broken and still breaking down and upset about what happened to him in his life. I needed to be a position of strength. I needed to be in a position where I had taken back my own power, and I think the honesty in which the book was presented reflected that."
Unfortunately many in the public don't want to hear about sexual abuse cases. We all too often turn a blind eye and the statistics show that there are severe consequences for the victims who come forward - especially males and especially in sports.
All too often people make insensitive comments like, "If he didn't like it he would have stopped it," without thinking that no one in their right mind would want to have their innocence and soul taken away. This not only discourages victims of sexual abuse to come forward, but it also creates a culture of secrecy that allows predators like Graham James to continue to commit their horrific crimes.
I have never been assaulted, so I can't truly understand how it would impact one's life and what they must go through on a day to day basis afterwards. I have however talked with many who have. The saddest part is that in most cases the reaction they receive when the unveil what happened is just as hurtful and damaging as the original abuse.
THE IMPACT ON HOCKEY
It goes without saying that hockey is more than just our national pastime here in Canada.
I don't think there is anything that unifies our nation more than our love of the sport, and that is why the hockey world needs to be front and centre in the James case. Fleury told me that during many of his book signings, many males would come up to him say thank you and then lean in close and whisper to him, "I've been there too man."
How has Fleury's life changed now that he has come forward?
"I'm now a very strong advocate for sexual abuse and sexual violence. There are lots of kids out there who, on a daily basis, are victims to pedophiles that we don't know about. I truly believe that this subject is the biggest epidemic we have on the planet. For years no one wanted to talk about and the trickle down effect that is has on people who have mental illnesses or post tramatic stress disorder is alarming. I think homelessness is a direct by product of abuse and prisons are full of guys who are angry and resentful and they want to get back at society. It is a bigger thing than people can imagine.
"I'm very comfortable now to stand out in front and try to make a difference and challenge the people in Ottawa who make the laws and the judicial system and even you guys in the media. Nine times out of ten, most media guys don't go after the perpetrator they always go after the weaker, innoncent victims of sexual abuse because it is easier. And that just reflects how completely backwards and upside down the system is.
"Now I don't care what people think about me or feel about me. Through my process I found out who I am as a person and I've found strength, courage and hope. I've realized that when I was uncomfortable at any point in my life, if I had just walked through the fear that there would be huge growth in me.
"Anybody who is thinking about going through this process I encourage them to do it, because I am such a better person today than I ever was at any other point in my life. Yes there were times when it was difficult and hard, but my entire life has been that way, so it's a matter of facing the challenges and making sure you have the support of family and friends."
A TRAGEDY IN 1986
As I looked into the Graham James case, I came across an incredible article by Gare Joyce. It was written in 2006, and talked about the connection surrounding the 20-year anniversary of the Swift Current Broncos bus crash that killed Trent Kresse, Scott Kruger, Chris Mantyka and Brent Ruff and along with it Graham James' original court case.
James was the coach when the Broncos' bus crashed on December 30th, 1986.
Joyce wrote how a small community turned its back on the victims of crash and those who suffered at the hands of James.
There were other lingering questions in Swift Current, questions about the man who coached the Broncos to their championship. Scott Kruger was just the first to air his doubts about Graham James' sexual orientation. Over the years, the Broncos' coach was subject to taunts from opponents and crowds across the WHL. And sometimes James' players were targeted, too. They heard chants of "Graham's bumboy."
Sheldon Kennedy had been the first of the Broncos to hear the chants. He left Swift Current after the championship season and made it to the NHL, first with Detroit, later with Boston. Kennedy had been a promising junior but a disappointment as a pro — he battled injuries and substance abuse. NHL teammates thought it strange that his coach in Swift Current stayed in contact with him and remained unusually involved in his life.
After years of whispers and innuendo, James was arrested in 1996 and charged with sexual assault against minors. Two Swift Current players would testify against him: Kennedy and another whose name is protected by a court order. Kennedy would reveal a pattern of abuse that started when he played for James in age-group hockey in Winnipeg and stretched through his time with the Broncos. And, as Kennedy would describe it, the abuse seemed to be almost in plain sight. It happened in his parents' home, even with his parents in another room. It happened in Centennial Civic Centre, when other people were around the arena. It happened in James' home in Swift Current, when he was supposed to be doing homework with the coach and would show up at his billets' home drunk and incoherent at 5 a.m.
THE RIFT IN SOCIETY
And here lies the fault line that runs through the community.
On one side you have people like Fanner Kruger. "I hate him," she says of James. "I could kill him. It takes a lot of the joy out of what that team did in their championship season. Poor Sheldon. I always wondered what was wrong with him. I knew that he drank a lot when he was with the Broncos. I should have asked questions. Scott saw a red flag and others must have seen it, too."
Fanner knew about the taunts on the ice. She isn't alone in asking, "What if I had done something?"
But on the other side of the fault line, there are those who claim to have been blindsided by the charges against James and his subsequent conviction. The conventional wisdom in hockey holds that no one knows a team better than the trainer — a trainer moves freely between the coach's office and the dressing room and is the confidant of all. Yet Hahn says he was shocked when the Royal Canadian Mounted Police laid charges against James: "I never saw it coming, I didn't see any warning signs at all, and I was around the team more than anybody."
Says Costello: "Graham was different ways with different people. With reporters, he always had time to talk and always tried to help out. He was a very bright man and he was aware how the media could keep his image as an educator."
Like Hahn and Costello, many people in Swift say that they never imagined the coach's sordid secrets. None of them knew Kennedy better than Frank and Colleen McBain. Kennedy and Sakic were the McBains' boarders, yet the couple says there wasn't a hint of trouble. More than that, the McBains still insist that James did many good things. Colleen McBain, who was a guidance counselor at the Swift Current high school, praises James for his work with the team after the bus crash. "Graham did a great job with the boys after the accident," she says. "He conducted himself admirably. He was very strong … professional."
Even in retrospect, the McBains can't see anything strategic or sinister in James' brushing off psychological counseling for the players after the deaths of their four teammates. When it's suggested to them that perhaps James was slamming that door to protect his awful secrets, the McBains say that he was simply following the players' wishes. "The boys wanted it that way," Frank McBain says.
None of this surprises Sheldon Kennedy. The way he sees it, nothing much has changed over the years.
"The idea that Graham James got us through the bus crash is insulting," Kennedy says. "We didn't rally around him. The players rallied. He had nothing to do with it. And he kept the professional help from the team because he didn't want anyone to know he was a sexual predator — keeping out professional help was his idea, not the players'. The idea of keeping the dressing-room door closed came from him.
A PERSONAL LINK
RAY FERRARO
They are WOMEN, not girls. And they choose to do it. No one forces them. To compare looking at a women to sexually abusing a boy is so inaccurate on your point it's baffling.
You should be ashamed to suggest the longterm affects of sexual abuse is even close to oggling.
Fair point. But should someone who commits the type of crime James did be pardoned?
I'm all for giving people second chances, but they also should have to live with the consequences of their actions, and if some employer won't hire them because of it, that is their fault.
I know lots of employers who give people convicts a second chance, but they would like to know up front what they are dealing with.
And a serious question for you. If a guy gets a pardon and is at the airport and they ask if he was arrested and he said no, would the pardon erase the arrest, or would it still show up? I've never been arrested so I don't know, but would the pardon affect a person's record via airport? Just curious if you know.
@Bar Qu
Bang on. I didn't think it was appropriate to include ANY of the regular features of Around The League in this article, because I wanted people to get the message.
I didn't include Random thoughts, stats or ice girls because of it.
Why don't you ask Theo Fleury or Sheldon Kennedy if they think what they went through compares to being a cheerleader?
@Jason Gregor
Just to be clear, I wasn't equating the two or even remotely suggesting the affects are close. My apologies if it came across that way, and I hope it doesn't distract people from the point of a very good article. I was simply trying to point out that it was ironic for someone to call for ice girls pics in an article about sexual abuse. I stand by that, but Bar Qu clearly said that better than I did.
I'm all for giving people second chances, but they also should have to live with the consequences of their actions, and if some employer won't hire them because of it, that is their fault. I know lots of employers who give people convicts a second chance, but they would like to know up front what they are dealing with.
Well, reasonable people can disagree on this, I suppose. When the James thing first flared up, I took a look for some academic research on the very question you're referring to, whether people are, generally speaking, able to set aside the conviction issue. One of the papers I came across said this:
If the recidivism risk is low, I'm not sure that employers should, necessarily, have a right to know about past conduct. James' case is a bit special because of the sexual aspect of it but the pardon that he got wouldn't apply for any jobs in which he'd be working with vulnerable people.
In any event, we as a society have a lot of reasons to want ex-convicts to be able to re-integrate into society and the work force. It's one thing if, by doing so, we're exposing unsuspecting people to an unacceptable level of risk but if the risk is low, then I'm not so sure that we do want that information being made available to employers.
Ironically, James might be the guy in Canadian history who has benefitted least from a pardon. I'm sure that part of the reason he was living and working in Mexico is that he's unemployable in Canada because of his notoriety. A pardon can't take that away.
Why don't you talk to some elementary students about how to properly read.
@Dan the Man
Dan the man, where do you see in Bar Qu's comment a comparison between being a cheerleader and what happened to Fleury and Kennedy? He simply states it's an objectification of women. He's stating an opinion (one I share), but doesn't even mention Fleury or Kennedy or imply any relation between the two. If you have a different opinion, feel free to state that, but there's no need to get antagonistic about a point no one is even trying to make.
Greg wrote:
That sounds like a comparison to me and Bar Qu agreed with it.
If your only point was to point out the classless comment calling for ice girls that was a strange way of phrasing it.
@Jason Gregor
And a serious question for you. If a guy gets a pardon and is at the airport and they ask if he was arrested and he said no, would the pardon erase the arrest, or would it still show up? I've never been arrested so I don't know, but would the pardon affect a person's record via airport? Just curious if you know. --------------------------------
Jason - I called the government after hearing of a Canadian that had crossed the border hundreds of times and then one day was denied entry. As I was informed, the pardon from the Canadian Government does not hold much water at the US Border.
It is completely up to the Customs Agent whether he/she decides that you can enter the US.
I have crossed the border hundreds of times without trouble since my 'mistake' in 1974 but I now carry my passport, my nexus card and a copy of my pardon but still that may not be enough. The Feds told me to contact the Department of Homeland Security and get a letter from them....haven't got around to that yet.
Thanks man. Interesting.
@Jason Gregor
Jason, just a few things:
"sympathy for James"- I never thought that you had sympathy for James.
re: expert testimony- Did the expert comment on precedence for convicted pedophiles up on new charges being provided Mexican citizenship? (sorry I missed this on the radio btw or I wouldn't have to ask)
re: "pound of flesh"- My draconian wish to have James put down like a common animal has little to do with punishing him and lots to do with: -ensuring that his previous victims can sleep knowing he's not doing this to anyone else -ensure he is not doing this to anyone else -ensure that anyone with the same sick cravings thinks twice about the consequences of acting on their impulses.
I feel compelled to offer a different perspective to this comment.
Yes, it's true that the women who choose to be ice girls do so of their own volition and based on their own motivations. The issue I have is with all of the young girls who go with their families to hockey games who don't have the same choice. When these young girls see men turning their heads to get a look at Ice Women, a superficial standard of beauty is being reinforced. Ice Women are not the only source of these standards, of course, but I'm still not sure why the management feels compelled to introduce them into a rink that is almost always sold out. While all hockey teams want to market to families that include young girls, surely they must also be aware of the dangerous body images that this can promote. It just doesn't add up, and this part of the issue isn't discussed very often.
Aside from all this, I want to thank you again for addressing this difficult subject matter. Clearly there are many different facets to the issues surrounding it and just as many opinions, and I appreciate your effort in writing about them and discussing them with us.
@Tyler
I guess what I would like to them consider certain crimes much differently. I know it will be hard to determine what is more serious, because some will think assault is just as bad as sexual assualt. But it is sad that James would get a pardon for what he did.
Be better.
when you come back to the real world and actually take the time to read the posts, let me know.
i never attacked anyone for making the connection between the complete objectification of women and the abuse that girls suffer every day. at all
Re: The citizenship. He said it could have been a possible, but the Mexican gov't isn't really consistent. Had James gotten to know the right person he could have received citizenship.
I get why you think that way, and I don't blame you for that. I think all of us feel something similar. I was just trying to point out the ways to try and prevent it from happening in the future. And you bring up a good point about how his victims would be relieved to know he was behind bars. Let's hope the courts get it right this time.
Here's the irony Jason,Graham James needs cheerleaders now more than ever you keep applauding him, I'll get you some pompoms...
As a parent of a decent Bantam aged player I see the collective will of parents, coaches and minor hockey to continually push toward optimum development paths to create the best possible system and best possible hockey players. Part of this system requires boys to be put into situations which are not ideal for protecting the kids from this type of thng. Whether it be Junior hockey or other high level teams in their teenaged years. Hockey is not alone, but our obsession to try get our kids to the next level opens us up to all kinds of problems, this is just one. My kid will never play Midget AAA or Junior, not because he's not good enough, but because i just dont think its a healthy way to grow up.
Glad to see your ignorance continues to shine through. The great part about your posts is it allows everyone to see just how clueless you are. We don't have to say anything. Thanks.
Dave,
It is your choice to make that decision, but there are far more positive stories and learning experiences than negative ones.
To suggest it is unhealthy was to grow up is a large sweeping statement that doesn't illustrate the entire truth. The majority of kids who play midget AAA and higher never make it, but they can have many positive experiences along the way. Most have way more positive life learning experiences than negative ones.
Many coaches teach good life experiences. Not all, but most.
Brilliant. The fact that someone, somwhere, was violated sexually should immediately preclude all sexuality, for all people, for all time.
...sticks and stones...so we're ok then?
. . . it's been over ten hours and i haven't been called ignorant more than twice, clueless or any other name since taking the esteemed gregor to task ... he failed to see that people get passionate and heated when hot button flash point filled topics are brought up. I applaud him for his threat of banishment if i don't tow the sites' line, stop disagreeing, start seeing the irony & prove myself worthy of being apart of his one way street called Oilers Nation...a place where he sucks all the fun out of Freedom of speech for me.I'd ban me too for any of that stuff. So,I guess i'm in the clear. It's pointless to hold my breath for any sort of explanation from the one [ego maniac] in charge of 'positive fridays' as to why he applauded a sexual predator for anything...if only he just admitted that he was wrong then i wouldn't even be thinking of canceling my Brass Bonanza ringtone. This probably won't actually make it to post [nazi germany] but if i thought it might I would only say...Jason...It Was Your Thread kid and you blew it! You've obviously spoken for everyone here and if no one reads or cares anything about what I post,even in this last post, i'm good with that...
i'm just glad we're OK.
@pelhem grenville
Personally I think you'd be more at home commenting on youtube videos. That's the true troll playground.
You weren't the only one to comment on the use of the word 'applaud'. However you are the only one not open enough to accept Jason's explanation.
@pelhem grenville
As usual you are paying close attention. We ban and delete any comments that contain swearing or disparaging remarks. I have deleted few than ten posts in my history here.
Disagree all you want. Have the smarts to not swear about it. Is it that hard to figure out?
I applauded James for finally doing the right thing and returning to Canada. What part of that don't you understand. He could have stayed in Mexico if he chose. Again, is it that hard to figure out.
I'm not wrong. You just don't seem to be able to grasp simple concepts. And stop whining that this site is a dictatorship. I've engaged posters for years who agree and disagree with me. Get over yourself. You are no more important than any other poster on here.
Boy you can't fool me...i picked up on the cryptic sarcasm and i applaud you ...it's much better than your first approach with all the name calling Jason. You're right, I DO pay close attention. but tell me sir...the characterized word F*%K or it's cousin motherf%$ker...have these words been sanctioned and deemed swearing here? If it isn't swearing tell me why those words in disguise are used along with a plethora of other 'swears' that have their letters reversed and symbols inserted to get around the no swearing rule limply enforced here on a regular basis. Surely there must be a pardon of sorts with first offenders [me] when they omit a symbol from a bad word.
Secondly, along with swearing you say that you delete comments that include "disparaging remarks". Just so we're clear here Jason, the word 'disparage' in my world is defined as: to bring reproach upon someone...but furthermore, and here's where you apply your craft as a hybrid MSM writer radio type...to belittle or insult someone.
here's what YOU have written about me here to date with regard to my dissidence...if i'm no more important than any other poster here then why do i appear to be so in your gun sights with these belittling insulting comments?
"...it allows everyone to see just how clueless you are..."
"...your ignorance continues to shine through..."
"...You just don't seem to be able to grasp simple concepts..."
..."Again, is it that hard to figure out..."
"...Are you ignorant enough not to see the irony of it? ..."
all your words
and here's what citizen Rob posted when he came to your defense with his brand of feckless disparaging remarks...with some vague reference to YouTube comments i should make.
"...That's the true troll playground..."HUH? he droned on to me about "...you weren't the only one to comment on the use of the word 'applaud'..." good 'ol Rob was bang on about me not being the only one...because i was the first one.(getting over myself here sorry)... but you didn't go off on Rob did you Jason?...not even when he said 'he never thought you [of all people] would have "sympathy" for James'. where Rob got that from I have no idea, not me...so the dictatorship[not my word your word] works for some but not for others, that's cool
Therefore, I could call you a cyber hypocrite no? I've guessed that you are an ego maniac... you've said here "...you applauded James for finally...blahblahblah"... it's too dictatorial a concept for you to be let off the [my] hook...again your way or no way...it's lame and i still vehemently take exception and you still claim "I'm not wrong" ...it's a good thing you invited me to disagree all i want so i'm going to...ThankYou. If that's your final disappointing answer and you will not admit that it was, at the very least the wrong choice of words or even a sketchy thought process...may i suggest then
... you somehow get a telephone interview with Graham James and say to Graham James on the air, at the top of the first segment of any Jason Gregor Show on The Team 1260...say to him "I applaud you for coming back to Canada to face these charges".
Think of the ratings Jason!
@pelhem grenville
"but you didn't go off on Rob did you Jason?...not even when he said 'he never thought you [of all people] would have "sympathy" for James'."
I never said anything even close to that. Seek psychological help, troll.
Edit: Your incorrect use of quotes to identify my statement as being word for word and your creative, and ridiculously incorrect, interpretation is really sad. No wonder I couldn't recognize the text you attempted to quote as my own.
@pelhem grenville
Your insistance to keep bringing up the same point, showed you didn't understand the simple concept and didn't get that in the picture James was deemed Man Of The Year. Many in the hockey world were fooled by the guy. You clearly didn't get it. That isn't my fault.
Now if you want to rant, go ahead, but you don't manage the site, so certain comments will be deleted. Yours weren't the first, and won't be the last. And if you don't like how the site works, you don't have to partake. That is your choice.
Your posts were deleted, because you kept rambling on and demanding we take down the picture, because you couldn't look it, complete with swearing and then having the asinine point of comparing taking down your comments to Nazi Germany. Comparing killing millions of people to deleting a post is pretty accurate isn't it?
You act like the site should appease your demands. Sorry it doesn't work that way. I'm done debating with you. You didn't like the article or my choice of the word applaud. Fine. 99% of the people understood, and appreciated what I meant. The article was 3000 words and you think one line was the focus. That seems like you can only focus on one thing and not see the entire framework. Sad.
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