2011 GOAT PICKING

Wanye
September 26 2011 09:17PM

One of the many traditions here at the OilersNation.com interwebian website is the annual rite of picking the Goat and the Star for the upcoming season. What began as a way to blame an entirely awful season on a single undeserving player has evolved into a hilarious means of mocking one another to pass the time.

The season draws near - the goats need be named.

GOATS OF YORE

We have been picking goats for three seasons now and it has been a triumverate of mediocrity. Here has been the annual breakdown thus far, with links to the original article where available,

2008-09: Denis Grebeshkov

2009-10: Denis Grebeshkov

2010-11: Nikolai Khabibulin

Picking Nikolai Khabilbulin in 2011 to be your goat is sort of like picking Lindsay Lohan to not win any major film awards this year. It is a foregone conclusion right out of the gate and its getting kinda sad to keep poking fun.

Ever since we heard that Khabibulin – already a quiet chap from all accounts – is embarrassed by his DUI, feels bad for all the bad press he has gotten and just wants to move on with his career – we feel as though picking on ol’ Nikolai has lost its fun.

And so he gets a reprieve from the scorching pressure that is being our Goat for the year in the place of a far more deserving gato.

2011-12 GOATIE GOAT

Khabibulin trashing may have lost its lustre, but mocking Tom Gilbert on the other hand – well that just suits us to a tee. He has no adversity to overcome, just a wallet that needs a helicopter to lift and a giant goat shaped target on his forehead.

Mark our words, if Gilbert plays with a healthy Ryan Whitney all season he will undoubtedly rack up a boat load of second assists. This of course won’t be reflected in his season totals. Assists are assists. This will lead the uninitiated – and hopefully some NHL GMs – will think that Gilbert has returned to form and is a point getting machine.

This is false.

Softer than newly baked bread and sporting a shoe fetish Lady Gaga herself would admire, Tom Gilbert just ain’t our cup of tea. If the 2011-12 season is going to see a single goal scored on the Edmonton Oilers or even a solitary loss blemish their record it is going to be Tom Gilbert’s fault.

Believe that.

Who you picking in the 2011 Goat Sweepstakes?

PHOTOSHOP CONTEST WINNER

 

Clearly the funniest photoshop contest entry to date in the history of OilersNation.com is going to win Photoshop III: What If? The winning entrant - Barmstrong - has set the all time bar for photoshop awesomeness to date. As a rich, rich reward he is entitled to a catered lunch for 10 from Oodle Noodle.

As usual we would like to thank our sponsor Oodle Noodle, the champion Barmstrong and everyone who entered. These things are the bomb and there will be another one soon.

Enjoy the delicousness!

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 book¡e
September 27 2011, 07:41AM
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My goat this year are people who spell Gagner as Gagne. If that is not allowed, it is the Diamond PK formation. If that is not allowed, it's Ralph Kruger. If that is not allowed, it's Sutton (because he wrecks everything by not being as good in the room as Strudwick was).

Hero - JW - who else brings a calculator to every party to help keep us all in line? If that doesn't count, my Hero is Ebersmythall. That guy is F-ing awesome!

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#52 Truth
September 27 2011, 07:45AM
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Khabibulin is too obvious, he is going to get 40 games despite being the clear #2. I guess that would make Renney the goat.

Since Khabi is too easy I'm picking a second.

Goat: Shawn "Mr. Hands of stone yet continuously gets first time power play minutes when there are a bunch of kids who are way better" Horcoff. Which would also make Renney the Goat.

Real Goat: Renney.

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#53 book¡e
September 27 2011, 07:50AM
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As per photoshop - does anyone have Penner's twitter or email - somebody has to send that picture to him - it's one of the funniest things ever.

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#54 book¡e
September 27 2011, 07:51AM
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Bah - my new goat is double posts that are not my fault!

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#55 book¡e
September 27 2011, 07:53AM
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I just went to a Kings site to share the link to this article and thus the Penner image (because I just think they need to see it) and found this Photoshop image of Tambellini there

http://cdn0.sbnation.com/fan_shot_images/203890/steves-snake-oil-sales1.jpg

It's basically a "What if Steve Tambellini followed HIS dreams". Looks to me like they are still a bit bitter about the Smyth trade.

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#56 Ogden Brother Jr. - Team Strudwick for coach
September 27 2011, 07:55AM
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Going to go with Shawn Horcoff. He will be playing with talented players and I'm pretty sure I'll be hearing how it's his fault that his teammates don't have more points.

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#57 Twiggs
September 27 2011, 07:57AM
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I agree with a few other posters. If Gilbert needs a helicopter to lift his wallet than my goat carries his paycheck around in a jumbo jet. Mr. Shawn Horcoff.

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#58 JorgeR
September 27 2011, 08:11AM
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I can't recall ever having so many good candidates for goat. This year is going to be rough once again.

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#59 j
September 27 2011, 08:17AM
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book¡e wrote:

My goat this year are people who spell Gagner as Gagne. If that is not allowed, it is the Diamond PK formation. If that is not allowed, it's Ralph Kruger. If that is not allowed, it's Sutton (because he wrecks everything by not being as good in the room as Strudwick was).

Hero - JW - who else brings a calculator to every party to help keep us all in line? If that doesn't count, my Hero is Ebersmythall. That guy is F-ing awesome!

"Gager"? Wasn't she in a bunch of adult themed movies in the late 70's?

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#60 Matt Henderson
September 27 2011, 08:19AM
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Oh my, the time has come for the grand unveiling of my Goat, which has been kept secret like the Colonel's 11 Herbs and Spices all summer. It may come as a shock to you all, but I'm choosing....LINUS OMARK.

This greasy Euro is over hyped and underwhelming and has been since he came to camp LAST year with the attitude that he's actually accomplished something of note. This guy was so mixed up defensively that he made Jones look like a stalwart in his own end!

The guy scores goals at a pace of 1 per every 10 games played, that's 5 over his 50ish NHL games. Smid thinks this guy isnt bringing enough in the offensive zone. This guy was so brutal that Gagner's entire season was derailed when he was given the assignment to babysit him.

He doesnt have a clue. He has the consistency of a Robert Nilsson and the defensive acumen to match. His only saving grace is his dogged determination with the puck, something he probably had to develop because his teammates kept figuring out that if THEY gave the puck to him the play would die.

I'm out.

/Thread

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#61 GTL
September 27 2011, 08:33AM
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Truth is spot on!!! Renney, Lowe, ST...oil management is with out a doubt a bad smelling goat! I have no faith in their ability to develop young players, or a winning team. Oh!... They talk about this player and what they see in that player, but seriously a diamond PK?... NK MVP....really? A pp that won't drive the net!... Allowing the opposition to adjust not adjusting their team. YES they all say the right words and sound so insightful, thoughtful almost philosophical, seeing thing and traits us mear morals are incapable of noticing... but NOW is their time, with their failures came the mercy gift of high drafts. There must now be some success.. No try! either do or do not!.... Time will tell.... just some teams tell time sooner and better than others

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#62 DougWeightProblem
September 27 2011, 08:49AM
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Due to my obsession with Doug Weight, there is only one goat that can be picked; the cursed returns left from his departure from Edmonton.

Originally traded for Reasoner, Horacek, and Hecht, Reasoner got us Samsonov, but despite a brief return as a free agent, his tributary ends there. Horacek never played a game in the NHL and departed for Europe. However, Hecht was traded for the picks that turned into Deslauriers and Stoll. Deslauriers is now gone, and Stoll was traded for Visnovsky, who was then flipped for Whitney.

Therefore, as the last in line from the Doug Weight trade return, Ryan Whitney is my unfortunate goat this season. All glory to the Weight!

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#63 Dipstick
September 27 2011, 08:50AM
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@book¡e

Gagne/Gagner Smith/Smyth Gote/Goat

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#64 geoilersgist
September 27 2011, 08:52AM
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I'm splitting my goat in two, Gagner and Brule.

Gagner if he can't get his sheet together and if Brule doesn't play at least half the season.

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#65 Beavis
September 27 2011, 08:53AM
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I can't pick Ethan Moreau, can I? There certainly are some worthy candidates on the present team - Gilbert not one in my book - but no one is coming even close to invoking the outright rage I used to get out of watching Moreau take an idiotic elbowing penalty in the offensive zone, or steaming in over the redline and whistling an 80 footer into the goalie's chest protector. Those were the days...

So in lieu of Moreau, I'll reluctantly go with Jones, not out of any spite, but more that I think he's going to feel the pressure to repeat last year and will try way too hard and make a whole bunch of errors in the process.

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#66 Hemmertime
September 27 2011, 09:09AM
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Wow.

“Nuge can do whatever he wants out there. He’s better than me,” said Hemsky.

No pressure now kid.

Goat: Sutton

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#67 Clarkenstein
September 27 2011, 09:20AM
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Horcoff is, was and will continue to be the goat. Making a bazillion dollars and I'm still not sure what he real role is on this team. He carries a stick in his hands for no apparent reason.

1st Runner Up is Play by Play man Jack Michaels. It's agony to listen to this guy. Gave him a year's grace but a P x P man doesn't call the home team ED - MUN - TUN. They are the Oil or Oilers Jack. And the biggest sin of all is that for some reason he doesn't feel the need to say "He shoots, He scores"!!!! He wants to reinvent his profession by saying ".. and Smyth taps it in.." or "...Eberle shoots.. goal"!! Many other examples but I thought they picked the wrong guy a year ago and I still think that.

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#68 book¡e
September 27 2011, 09:21AM
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Hemmertime wrote:

Wow.

“Nuge can do whatever he wants out there. He’s better than me,” said Hemsky.

No pressure now kid.

Goat: Sutton

"Nuge" - good, maybe it will catch on.

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#69 All-for-naught
September 27 2011, 09:22AM
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Ales Hemsky

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#70 smiliegirl15
September 27 2011, 09:22AM
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Gagner is my goat once more. Talk about underwhelming! I sincerely hope he gets his act together and starts playing like he should but I think he's just going to be left in the dust by our youth movement. By rights he should be PART of that but sadly, he is not.

Wanye wasn't there once a photoshop you did of Gilbert with goat horns on his helmet?

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#71 book¡e
September 27 2011, 09:23AM
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@j

Fixed now - but I seem to be cursed to automatically misspell Gagner whenever I criticize others for misspelling Gagner.

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#72 Pajamah
September 27 2011, 09:26AM
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I hope against it, but this years goat

....Cameron Edward Barker III

*made up middle name and numerical suffix*

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#73 master of my domain
September 27 2011, 09:29AM
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goat-Steve Tambellini. another year of evaluating and no attempts to fix our horrible D.

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#74 VATech
September 27 2011, 09:49AM
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My goat for the year is MPS. Hard to pin on a second year player, but I think he's going to have a pretty rough year.

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#75 BingBong
September 27 2011, 09:50AM
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My goat is none other than Mr. Whitney. Not only will his (yet another) injury prevent him from starting the season, his lack of pre-season and pressure to be the #1 d-man will eat him alive. Goat.

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#76 Ninjai
September 27 2011, 09:55AM
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My goat's Barker. As pointed out several times prior he's a reclamation project who's supposed to improve our disastrous PP.

Prove me wrong, Cam, prove me wrong.

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#77 treevojo
September 27 2011, 09:57AM
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Belanger. So that every numbers guy can find new stats to defend why they thought it was such a great signing.

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#78 Dman09
September 27 2011, 09:59AM
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Matt Henderson wrote:

Oh my, the time has come for the grand unveiling of my Goat, which has been kept secret like the Colonel's 11 Herbs and Spices all summer. It may come as a shock to you all, but I'm choosing....LINUS OMARK.

This greasy Euro is over hyped and underwhelming and has been since he came to camp LAST year with the attitude that he's actually accomplished something of note. This guy was so mixed up defensively that he made Jones look like a stalwart in his own end!

The guy scores goals at a pace of 1 per every 10 games played, that's 5 over his 50ish NHL games. Smid thinks this guy isnt bringing enough in the offensive zone. This guy was so brutal that Gagner's entire season was derailed when he was given the assignment to babysit him.

He doesnt have a clue. He has the consistency of a Robert Nilsson and the defensive acumen to match. His only saving grace is his dogged determination with the puck, something he probably had to develop because his teammates kept figuring out that if THEY gave the puck to him the play would die.

I'm out.

/Thread

Couldn't agree more. I think the guy is flashy an what not but I don't think he can pull it off in the middle of a physical game on a regular basis. Omark will be my Goat for the year and I think he will end up getting trade somewhere along in the season.

I want to just say that I'm voting Barker as the biggest surprise this year. I think he is going to start off a little slower but will just keep getting bettter and better as the season goes on. I've liked what I've seen from him so far in the preseason and I hope he just relaxes and keeps on getting better. Full speed ahead Barker full speed ahead.

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#79 Talbot17
September 27 2011, 10:00AM
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Khabbi doesnt count we already know hes a goat, maybe if he whiped the vodka from his eyes he could see the puck!

Goat: Brule - they will give him a roster spot, he will flop, but if they come to their senses and don't give him a spot - I'd say Hemsky cause you know he will be injured by December

Hero: Barker - He will surprise being a good PP option and will actually be healthy!

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#80 OvenChicken8 - Team JSBM
September 27 2011, 10:10AM
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He's been my Goat for years and it's not going to change. I'm with you Wanye. Tom Goatbert

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#81 Rogue
September 27 2011, 10:11AM
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Horcup gets my vote. Slow,needs glasses by watching all the opportunities he misses, and other than faceoffs, is not much better in his own end than any other Oiler.

Gagner is my 1a goat. A younger version of Horc.

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#82 Dodd
September 27 2011, 10:11AM
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treevojo wrote:

Belanger. So that every numbers guy can find new stats to defend why they thought it was such a great signing.

That's a tough sell... as long as he's still good in the dot (he's cooking around 50% a few games in) he will be seen as a worthwhile signing.

With our luck, Hemmer will tank this year - a season when we need him to really perform to up his trade value. I'm picking Hemsky to show enough flashes of greatness to make us wonder why he disappears for long stretches.

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#83 Buke
September 27 2011, 10:13AM
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Oh Wayne! While completely on the mark that Tom "Look like a girl; play like a girl" Gilbert is the undisputed Goat of the year, I think this was just a ploy to get Willis to write yet another man crush article filled with glowing statistics conjured up for Ms Gilbert.

Hero is much tougher but the safe bets are Eberle, Hall and Smyth so I will cop out and pick all three.

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#84 Master_Deko
September 27 2011, 10:14AM
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couldn't agree more on tom gilbert being the goat. Saw him once at the ranch.......who wears a suit with cowboy hat.....douche

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#85 Randy
September 27 2011, 10:18AM
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It's a little too easy to pick Gilbert or Gagner just because there has been a vocal group bitching and grumbling about them for a while now. They aren't at the Poti Line yet but they can see it from where they are. Brule may not start the season here let alone finish it and Khabi is......well.....Khabi.

So for me the goat will be Ryan Jones. He won't get the quality minutes he got last year so the numbers will drop, he isn't overly physical, he doesn't scrap much and there are some pretty good young wingers knocking at the door. Being "safe" won't save him for long.

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#86 bored
September 27 2011, 10:35AM
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GOAT = Wayne Gretzky

goat = The Edmonton Oiler defense. More specifically, Ryan Whitney - I'm worried he will be a step behind this year...

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#87 Dangerous Neil
September 27 2011, 10:44AM
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This one should be easy.

Goat = Barker. Once his plus minus dips into the minus 20 range he will be run out of town Jason Arnott Style.

Hero = Smyth. Anybody watching the Vancouver game saw his takedown at the end of the first protecting Hall. He will score, bang and grow his lettuce long and strong.

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#88 Travis Dakin
September 27 2011, 11:18AM
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Dodd wrote:

That's a tough sell... as long as he's still good in the dot (he's cooking around 50% a few games in) he will be seen as a worthwhile signing.

With our luck, Hemmer will tank this year - a season when we need him to really perform to up his trade value. I'm picking Hemsky to show enough flashes of greatness to make us wonder why he disappears for long stretches.

The only time Hemsky ever "disappears" is when he is injured. He gets injured because he goes into the tough areas. You shut your damn mouth about my boy Hemsky!

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#89 Action Jackson
September 27 2011, 11:21AM
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Goat: Barker

Stud muffin (hero): Dubnyk (Hall also obviously he is just a beaut)

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#90 John Chambers
September 27 2011, 11:25AM
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A goat should be defined as a person not playing near to their potential, whose poor play and apathy limits his linemates and the team as a whole.

Devan Dubnyk is my goat. Not because I'm cheering against him but because the team's success will rely heavily upon him this year. If Dubnyk falters or can't seize the day, do the Oil.

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#91 treevojo
September 27 2011, 11:28AM
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Dodd wrote:

That's a tough sell... as long as he's still good in the dot (he's cooking around 50% a few games in) he will be seen as a worthwhile signing.

With our luck, Hemmer will tank this year - a season when we need him to really perform to up his trade value. I'm picking Hemsky to show enough flashes of greatness to make us wonder why he disappears for long stretches.

Lol. And here comes the stats already in preseason. Until he proves he is better then horcoff he is the goat. Blocking my future hero pick of lander from being the fourth center is all it takes. With nuge and gagner being one and two, one of horc or Belanger have to go for the future captain lander to take his permanent residence in the line up.

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#92 Naughty
September 27 2011, 11:29AM
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ReKhabibulin until he gets benched

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#93 David S
September 27 2011, 11:53AM
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bored wrote:

GOAT = Wayne Gretzky

goat = The Edmonton Oiler defense. More specifically, Ryan Whitney - I'm worried he will be a step behind this year...

*Takes off white glove. Slaps "bored" with glove*

Pistols or sabres at dawn sir. Your choice.

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#94 GrillBoss
September 27 2011, 12:04PM
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Omark is my goat. Before the season is over he will be replaced by big #56, Teemu H.

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#95 Bill Rizer
September 27 2011, 12:18PM
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Not many people going out on a limb here. My Goat is Ryan Whitney. I just don't see him as much more than a 40 point dman (which is great) but based on some of the conversations and projections I've seen you'd think the guy was a lock for 65.

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#96 Canadian Maniac
September 27 2011, 12:18PM
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Wayne is bang on, Gilbert is my goat-to-be.

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#97 pelhem grenville
September 27 2011, 12:24PM
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Linus Omark

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#98 Harlie
September 27 2011, 12:27PM
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I'm goin with the Jailbird

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#99 Greg MC
September 27 2011, 12:28PM
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Khaaabibulin! King of the goats.

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#100 TigerUnderGlass
September 27 2011, 12:30PM
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David S wrote:

*Takes off white glove. Slaps "bored" with glove*

Pistols or sabres at dawn sir. Your choice.

He was referencing Gretzky as the Greatest Of All Time.

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