David Clarkson suspended 2 games

Steve Dangle
December 14 2013 12:06PM

 

You kids enjoying Deathcember yet?

David Clarkson has been suspended for two games for his illegal head-check on Vladimir Sobotka. Below is the video from the NHL explaining the suspension. 1,000 fictional bonus points if you can name whose voice that is on the video.

Did you guess it? Those would be the sultry tones of one Patrick Burke, son of Brian Burke. You may remember him as the President of You Can Play, and that one time he told Jeffler to shut up. In late August just before this season began, Patrick joined the NHL's Department of Player Safety along with Brian Leetch. Oh yeah no big deal. Just Brian Leetch. Sweet gig.

Anyway, if you wrote David Clarkson's time in Toronto so far into a Mighty Ducks movie, nobody would believe you. "Oh there's this guy. Hard-nosed kid. Bangs in all the goals. Real lunch-bucket guy. Finally hits the big time and signs a mega monster deal with his childhood team. Only has two goals by Christmas and was suspended for 12 of the 35 games he's been a part of that team."

Now, in Disney movies, this is the part where Clarkson takes some time to reflect, has a moment of realization after a wily old man gives him some inspirational advice, and he comes back better than ever.

If that advice doesn't work out, how about this incentive:

I'm 25. I haven't even made that much money in my life yet - total

Clarkson is set to return on December 17th when the Leafs take on the Florida Panthers. The two games Clarkson is slated to miss are against Chicago tonight and Pittsburgh on Monday. His projected reaction to those games from the pressbox:

6b6884e175cda86e6828bab0537236ad
Steve Dangle has a YouTube channel with over 3 million views and is the co-host of the Steve Dangle Podcast on iTunes and SoundCloud. Steve has also worked for CBC, the NHL Network, Leafs TV, Nike, the KHL, and most of all, the Toronto Zoo. stevedangle.com
Avatar
#1 Nate
December 14 2013, 12:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
4
props

I love it when we pay a guy 5.25 mil to get suspended....

Avatar
#2 STAN
December 14 2013, 12:16PM
Trash it!
1
trashes
Props
6
props

From all evidence so far, the Leafs won't miss him a bit.

In fact, they might well benefit. The teams best portion of the season came in their first 10 games, with Clarkson sitting for being a moron.

Coincidence? I don't think so.

Avatar
#3 Noah
December 14 2013, 01:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

"I've forfeited how much?!" *falls down* - David Clarkson

"I'm gonna go to the gym" *falls down* - David Clarkson.

Avatar
#4 whichonespink
December 14 2013, 03:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Props
0
props

Nothing will happen with Clarkson without a musical montage. Don't you watch South Park. He's the best, the best,....

Comments are closed for this article.