EA Sports released their much anticipated NHL12 today. Reviews and reports of game play/mechanics have been trickling in on my twitetr feed today, some of which I have decided to share. Apparently EA has gotten quite clever with this iteration and the "Be a GM" game mode hides some rather idiosyncratic quirks and pitfalls.
Be a GM – Edmonton Oilers
– Players frequently suffer injuries. Particularly star players. Injury frequency actually increases when fighters are added to the roster.
– You have to deal with constant, annoying trade requests from every player in the organization.
– UFA offers to new players are automatically rejected.
– Baffling managerial decisions by Kevin Lowe crop up randomly and there’s nothing you can do about them.
– Every game starts with the Oilers down by at least two goals.
– No Oilers goalie can maintain a SV% above .905.
– It is impossible to win a fight while playing as Zach Stortini.
Be a GM – Calgary Flames
– Automatically changes whatever GM name you input to "Ken King"
– Prospects are always returned to the minor team, even after being put on the Flames active roster.
– The playoffs end after round 1.
– Russian players cannot be traded for or signed.
– Newly signed players are automatically given a NTC.
– Consistently place 8th or below in the Western Conference, regardless of point totals.
– Players traded to Toronto automatically gain 5+ points to their overall rating. The opposite happens with any player traded from Toronto.
Be a GM – Vancouver Canucks
– Only Vancouver players have an added "diving" rating, which is automatically 90 or above.
– Roberto Loungo is automatically pulled in high-pressure or important games.
– The Sedin twins can only stand idle while being assualted after the whistle.
– "Punch" buttons during a fight become "crouch" and "turtle" if the player is Alex Burrows.
– It is impossible to win four games in the Stanley Cup finals.
Be a GM – Toronto Maple Leafs
– Cannot trade for or sign players with "toughness" ratings below 80. Related: Colton Orr cannot be traded from the team nor scratched from the active roster.
– Only one player with an overall rating of 90 or above is allowed on the roster at any given time.
– Any Goalie acquired will automatically see his rating fall below 70.
– During season simulations, the Leafs win rate will double once they have been eliminated from the playoff race.
– Phil Kessel’s rating jumps from 55-85 randomly and for weeks at a time.
– Players traded from Calgary gain 5+ points to the overall rating. The opposite happens with any player traded to Calgary.
Be a GM – Winnipeg Jets
– Dustin Byfuglien’s weight increases by 2% every day of the off-season. The "pass" button automatically becomes another "shoot" button when playing as Byfuglien as well.
– For the first season, fans cheer no matter what happens on the ice. Attendance falls by 15% for every year after that, regardless of the team’s success or failure on the ice.
– UFA’s automatically demand 25% on top of initial offers.
– Don Wadell constantly calls with terrible trade suggestions.
– The season ends when the playoffs begin.
NYI: At random times during the season Alexei Yashin shows up to thank you for the free money. Photo ops with DiPietro in the hospital ensue.
NJD: During the draft, any player that has fallen a few spots will automatically become a great NHL player if chosen by you, but will never make the NHL if chosen by any other team. Also, any trades you make will automatically force the other team’s GM to add on a pick or a useful player resulting in you always winning the trade. Cap hits for players are 1/16th of whatever they are earning.
PHX: Your team takes half the time and suffers no ill-effects of travelling on the road, since all players have their suit-case packed and ready to move at all times.
CBJ: At the end of every season a menu pops up and says Rick Nash is requesting a skilled player to play with. Your two options are x (for NO) and O (for NO). In the last year of your contract as GM the club salary must double and result in no change in the standings.
ANA: During off-season you have no choice but to sign Teemu Selanne until he is either 50 years old or drops below a point per game. Also you must sign any players that EDM does not resign.
NSH: Every game goes to a shootout and you lose the game 1-0. If any player on your team who is NOT a defenseman scores a goal they are automatically traded or not resigned. Goalies drafted always have A+ potential.
This rules.
This rules.
The Vancouver Cancuks? Is that a new name?
Actually, it is. They figured they weren’t having much luck with the other one, so…
Ummm,, Stortini doesn’t play for the [email protected]?!? Duh!
Well, believe it or not…you don’t actually automatically lose every fight with him in the game either.
He ended up with the Ducks right?
Predators actually.
Actually had a good chuckle. Can’t wait to pick a copy up today.
I can’t wait for work to be done!!!! I think it’s an xbox night.
I just went to future shop to pick up the game at lunch and there were 6 people in line. 5 of which were buying this game.
The other person was this woman buying a microwave and she kept hitting me in the back of the leg with her stupid cart!
I was wrong,, Preds. All other Oilers that left ended up in Anahiem..
Up, Down, Up, Down, Left, Right, Select, Start: Oilers select 1st overall every year.
You’d think by now they could’ve overcome that skating cardboard cut out on ice look in these computer games. Where’s the 3D look to these arenas and players. I’m sure the Madden NFL must be better than hockey.
The Habs omission is as hilarious as it is appropriate. Thanks for that.
I decided to concentrate only on teams in the Nations Network. I would encourage everyone to make up their own items for other clubs though.
jess- shut up.
Montreal:
All forwards acquired must be under 5″10.
“Be a GM, Edmonton Oilers”
-Have access to a bevy of free information compiled by your team’s bloggers. Ignore it.
“Be a GM, Calgary Flames”
-Identical to the set-up as the Toronto Maple Leafs GM mode from NHL ’09.
“Be a GM, Vancouver Canucks”
-Inherit a roster with some of the best players in the game. Take the credit for when the roster pays dividends.
“Be a GM, Toronto Maple Leafs”
-Even in single player, this mode can be played as GM of the Anaheim Ducks.
“Be a GM, Winnipeg Jets”
-‘Ignore offseason’ mode enabled.
Awesome – great work, Kent!
I must admit, you had me going. Lol. I kept thinking to myself “I guess this years game is extremely realistic this year”
Ottawa:
Every player on your team has the letter “S” in their name replaced with “SHHH”
Calgary:
– While a defenseman is in control of the puck, the ‘pass’ button becomes the ‘wrap it around the boards’ button. ‘Shoot’ turns to ‘glass and out’.
Hilarious, Kent!
Brilliant.
Montreal:
– cannot resign players unless salary is tripled.
– free agents signed default to a rating of 55 or less
– crowd boos goalies throughout game if they let one goal in. This carries over through all home games until goalie has two back to back shutouts.
What about Ottawa?