The Steve Dangle Podcast – November 21, 2013 – Sick & Drunk



On this episode the guys talk Leafs (obvi), Canucks (obvi pt2), Sens, and WorldStarHipHop.

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Letterkenny Problems

Kyle’s Amazing Entry

        I woke up with a start, gasping and breathing the cold Toronto air. A freezing sensation came over me, colder than Patrick Kaleta’s fan base. "Where am I?" I thought to myself. A lengthy night of "hitting it off", festive washroom activities, Crown Roy-ahhl, as my friend Steve would say, and finally, a short walk, with a female, to a small apartment building, which I assumed is where I am now. After several minutes of laying freezing in a foreign bed, I decided to go collect some blankets. I slid off the bed, and when my feet landed on the icy floor, I jolted back in shock. That sudden impact threw me back into reality, allowing me to recollect everything that had happened the previous night/morning. The first thing that came to mind was, "this isn’t my apartment." And the next question was, "where is the girl who brought me back to her apartment? What was her name again? Flower #2?" I paraded around the cramped apartment, looking for a blanket, and partly looking for Flower #2. Dozily walking around the tenement, I was unable to locate a blanket, or Flower #2, but fortunately I was able to locate a thermo-stat. "0 degrees Celsius." It read. "Damn! Zero! The same amount of goals the Vancouver Canucks scored in Game 7." After cranking the heat as much as my Vancouver heart would allow, I indolently found my way back to bed.

        Once again, I woke up, but this time, I felt relaxed, comfortable, and cozy. "Hehehe." I giggled to myself. "What a fun night. I feel like Adam Wylde, pissin hundies and getting one night stands." Once out of bed, I realized I hadn’t pissed since late last night, and headed to the bathroom, hoping to pocket some hundies. After being fully awake for several minutes, I realized that I had neglected to seal the deal last night. "Darn!" I yelled aloud. "If only I was on the radio, and fortunate enough to be Scarborough trash!" I abruptly stopped in my tracks, like the Toronto Maple Leafs regular season run to the playoffs two seasons ago. There was something warm, and sticky on my foot. I looked down to see blood splattered on the floor, followed by a thin trail headed towards the door, and down the hallway. I didn’t think anything of it at the time; being a Canucks fan, you witness some pretty weird things especially getting shutout in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, signing Roberto Luongo to a 12 year, $64 million contract, trading Cody Hodgson for Zack Kassian, and lastly, dealing Cory Schnieder for a 9th overall pick. I glanced back at the crime scene one last time, and decided that it was no wronger than enticing my 7 year old nephew to hit on a young cheerleader at a Vancouver Canucks-oops I mean Giants-game. After suddenly losing the urge to make a fortune off of my piss, I decided to head down to Panago Pizza, and possibly "Shoe-less Joe’s." I hope they have a TV where I can watch the Canucks game, paying attention and focusing on it. Hopefully Adam remembers the right store this time, after all he always mentions the wrong address on the podcast. I exited the apartment building giggling to myself. "Hehehehehe. There is totally nothing abnormal, or strange, about what happened in the last 7 hours. Hehehehe. After all, I am from Vancouver. Hehehe. Atleast I didn’t have to spend $200 this time on a date, I wish all my female friends with potential would just mysteriously disappear for me. Hehehehe. Hehehe. Hehe. He."  


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