Get a load of what Steve Simmons wrote today

So I was going through my usual routine Sunday morning, and saw this silly column from Steve Simmons pop up in my news reader. I mean, can you believe what he said? Let’s look.

A stitch in time saves nine. Paddle your own canoe. Slow and steady wins the race. He tasted his own medicine. It’s always best to let sleeping dogs lie. Not even for all the tea in China. The more the merrier. There’s more than meets the eye. Live and let live. Just a cotton pickin’ minute, here! In the hot seat. That was a shot below the belt. His bark is worse than his bite. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent inspiration. Math is hard. Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. The sun never sets on the British empire. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Put that on a postage stamp. Keep your eye on the ball. Life is like a box of chocolates—you don’t know what you’ll get next. Lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice. Never hurts to try. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Time and tide wait for no man.

I’d break this apart line by line, but I think all of the inconsistencies and un-researched points are fairly self-evident. If I didn’t know any better, it would look like this is just a big reprinting of English clichés! I can’t believe the Toronto Sun’s editors would let one of its writers do this. Pretty low, if you ask me.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    • I like that Bon Jovi song with the verse, and then the chorus comes after it, and then another verse, and then a key change leading to a bridge, and then the chorus comes twice at the end.

      That’s my favourite one.

  • CMpuck

    Maybe if you can write something of interest without condescending/patting yourself on the back over a bunch of fringe internet stats anyone with a seventh grade education can figure out you could get a job in hockey writing but that would require be consistently professional and not whining over someone’s ability to land a career.

        • The real question I have is just why would anyone read Simmons?

          That said, Simmons does have a point. The devils are possession masters but they struggled to make the playoffs. They do need Schneider and the rest of the team to play MVP. A winning team ideally needs both quality players and puck possession. People trying to point to advanced stats being the panacena need to look no further then the Devils.

          • New Jersey was the only team with a CF% above 53% (elite possession) that missed the playoffs. The six other teams with CF% above 53% all made the playoffs – you can’t use an exception to prove a rule.

            There were 13 teams in the league last year with CF% above 50. 10 made the playoffs.

  • Remember when there were some insightful articles around here, and not just petty little barbs thrown at another writer?

    (Admittedly a very poor writer, but my point remains)

    Comes off petty and small.
    Just move on Cam.

  • posthack

    Goon makes a good point. Simmons is cherry picking as he always does to prop up his weak arguments.
    NJD was a possession monster. Why didn’t they make the playoffs?
    1. Utter futily in shootouts. (50% would have given them a spot).

    2. Devotion to Martin Brodeur. He was allowed to play 39 games for some reason ending with a .901 save percentage over Schnieder and his .921.

  • MZ

    Sorry, guys – there’s actually no divide between “stats” and “great players”. Great players HAVE great stats – they wouldn’t be great if they didn’t. What makes players great? They drive play, they put up points, they prevent the other team from putting up points, they make their teammates better. Right?

    And guess what stats measure, dumdum!

    This is what makes Simmons super-dumb: He’s basically saying “I don’t want a guy who’s six-foot-eight. I want a TALL guy! Get out of here with your tape measures, warlock!”