On The Air Tonight

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If you are at all like me (God help you), you were a little confused by the announcement from TSN (the Totally Sorry Network) yesterday afternoon that they would be apologizing to Dion Phaneuf, Elisha Cuthert and Joffrey Lupul “on the air tonight”.

I mean, if you’re going to apologize, just do it. Don’t delay it any longer than necessary, for God’s sake.

But then it hit me, what better way to get people to actually bother tuning in to watch a game between the Leafs and the Panthers!

Anyway, that line tweaked a thought in my head and since I will go to any lengths to do this drum solo, with apologies to Phil Collins, I present: On The Air Tonight…

We will be atoning on the air tonight, Dion
And we’ve been dreading such a comment aimed at your wife, Dion
Can you see us begging on the air tonight, Dion, Dion
Well, if we told you we were sorry
And nobody was banged
We’ve seen lawsuits before contend
That we don’t know our own ass from a ham
Bell, at first didn’t care but then saw what we did
They saw it through their greedy eyes
So we were told to give in,
That Tweet that you’ve seen
It was all just a pack of lies
And we will be atoning on the air tonight, Dion
Bell has been dreading such a comment aimed at your wife, Dion
We will be atoning on the air tonight, Dion, Dion
And we’ve been dreading such a comment aimed at your wife, Dion, Dion
The Bell board members (board members, board members…),
Bell board members are worried (worried, worried…)
Breaking out in a cold sweat,
It’s the worst time, to get slimed, to lose to Sportsnet
So you know the reason why we need to silence you,
So please don’t sue us
It’s our only show
And everyone knows
That our ratings can’t stand the fuss

Phil Collins drum solo

BA-DUUM BA-DUUM BA-DUUM
BA-DUUM DUUM DUUM DUUM
And we will be atoning on the air tonight, Dion
Bell has been dreading such a comment aimed at your wife, Dion
We will be atoning on the air tonight, Dion, Dion
And we’ve been dreading such a comment aimed at your wife, Dion, Dion

(repeat to fade)

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