TLN Player Power Rankings: March 30, 2015

It’s time for everybody’s favourite hockey post which ranks the Leafs players from least awful to Zach Sill. Some exciting twists and turns this week that will have you rushing to the water cooler and spittin’ hot takes all day.

1. TYLER BOZAK (LAST WEEK: NR)

Clearly Bozak got my wakeup call by not ranking in the top twenty last week. I really wish he hadn’t and remained awful because his hat trick made it that much harder for the Oilers to catch the Leafs in the standings and helped the Bruins get into a playoff spot. Bozak is really good at doing the wrong thing in every situation, but three goals in a game is impressive no matter who’s coattails you’re riding on. It’s not like there was anything else resembling a hockey achievement for the Leafs this week so kudos Tyler, you reminded me of the awful night I saw Lee Stempniak score a hat trick. And thankfully no one is drafting Connor McDavid for his scouting abilities.

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2. PHIL KESSEL (LAST WEEK: 7)

Phil Kessel picked up 3 assists on Saturday night, but that’s not why he’s second this week. He’s second this week for this:

I don’t know what Booth did to upset Kessel, but I do know that Booth has given us all enough reasons to hope that someone would try to punch him in practice, so well done Phil. I only wish this didn’t start another round of lazy Toronto media narratives about how much Kessel cares.

3. JAMES van RIEMSDYK (LAST WEEK: 15)

I don’t know how this line managed to put up so many points, didn’t anyone tell them that they are minus one hundred! That’s the worst thing you can be with the exception of not showing up for optional skates.

Not bad for a college hockey playin’ ‘murican.

4. MORGAN RIELLY (LAST WEEK: 2)

Still the best Leaf of the Horachek era. Hopefully he’ll be just as successful in October for the start of the post Horachek era. 

5. SAM CARRICK (LAST WEEK: 8)

Sam Carrick continues to fill the #nicestory quota of the power rankings with his first NHL goal.

6. JAKE GARDINER (LAST WEEK: 10)

COUNTERPOINT: That time he did that thing that made me mad.

7. JAMES REIMER (LAST WEEK: 14)

The MennoKnight in Blue Satin picked up a win and pitched a solid inning of relief against Florida. That’s about as good as it gets for Leafs goaltenders. 

8. DION PHANEUF (LAST WEEK: 12)

“Dion, how do you channel the frustration of being paired with Eric Brewer for 22 minutes a night?”

“Like this…



9. NAZEM KADRI (LAST WEEK: 5)

When your boy manages to make it through a whole game without getting suspended:


10. LEO KOMAROV (LAST WEEK: 6)

With the Leafs missing Holland, Kadri, Sill, and Smith it was up to Komarov to step into a center role so we wouldn’t have to suffer through young players having too much ice time and actually knowing what they can handle at the highest level. Of course, Komarov actually didn’t look too bad in is his limited duties, and is one of the few Leafs how can say they met expectations this week.

His hits are controlled demolitions. 

11. TIM ERIXON (LAST WEEK: 11)

Crap. I’m only up to 11 of these. I dunno, I guess Tim Erixon isn’t that bad.

12. T.J. BRENNAN (LAST WEEK: NR )

With Rielly, Gardiner, and Erixon in the lineup the Leafs don’t have much need for another dynamic puck moving defenceman, as such Brennan has adjusted his game nicely in his second go around with the Leafs.

13. CASEY BAILEY (LAST WEEK: 4)

Casey Bailey made his NHL debut this week which is nice for him. He was used as well as Horachek uses any of the young call ups in meaningless games which is bad. The necessary games have now been burnt as required to use up a year of his ELC, and Bailey didn’t pull off a Fabian Brunnstrom type debut so it’s safe to say he’ll be a Marlie next year, but hopefully a good one.

And because Ryan Fancey enjoy these videos so much, here’s a SEER VIDEO montage of Casey Bailey set to Everybody Wants Some by Van Halen

14. JONATHAN BERNIER(LAST WEEK: 13)

He still doesn’t goaltend for a very good hockey team.


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15. JOAKIM LINDSTROM (LAST WEEK: 18)

I’m not too sure who this guy is, but he probably won’t get picked for shootouts too often.

16. JOFFREY LUPUL (LAST WEEK: NR)

Joffrey Lupul picked up his 20th point of the season this week. He also earned this for the week

17. RICHARD PANIK (LAST WEEK: 17)

Lately Richard Panik has been playing more and more like a guy who was claimed off of waivers to fill out the roster on the 27th placed team. On the plus side, Richard Panik is the innovator of in game promotions that the Air Canada Centre game ops team has been lacking.

18. BRANDON KOZUN (LAST WEEK: 20)

He exists. 

19. ERIC BREWER (LAST WEEK: 19)

Just when there’s hope the Leafs could get passed in the standings by the Oilers, Eric Brewer decides he scores overtime game winning goals. Also can we reflect on the fact that the Leafs are team that plays Eric Brewer in Overtime.

20. DAVID BOOTH (LAST WEEK: FORGOT HE EXISTED)

Last week I forgot that David Booth was even on the Leafs roster. This week David Booth decided to get in a fight in practice with one of the few sources of joy for Leafs fans. I’m all for picking sides in fights, and I am going to side with the perennial 30 goal scorer over the guy who had less value at the trade deadline than Olli Jokinen and Korbinian Holzer.

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DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT

Trevor Smith and Zach Sill missed time because of injuries this week. Somehow the scarecrow and coat rack they used to replace them finished with better +/- than they would have.

Peter Holland was injured. It seems like Peter Holland gets injured a lot.

Andrew MacWilliam and Greg McKegg made brief cameos this week which I have already forgotten.