On my latest trip to Metro on Front Street, I noticed they added a new section! Just last week they decided to add an aisle for NHL UFAs! How very convenient.
I went back home and started couponing for my dear life, collecting as many Steven Stamkos coupons as I could. Let’s check them out and see how they work!
HE’S A CENTRE, DAMNIT
Well would you look at that! This whole time Jon Cooper has been playing Stamkos at wing, and we can save $100K just by playing him at his natural position! Whaddayaknow. Looks like my long night of Extreme Couponing is starting to pay off!
WELCOME (BACK) TO THE 6
Golly gee! My team is from Toronto! Who would have guessed that being from a town a player was born in makes them more inclined to take a discount?
The answer is everyone would have guessed that. But who cares! $250,000 savings is enough for me to laugh to the bank!
I HURT MYSELF TODAY TO SEE IF I STILL FEEL
That’s right folks, Stamkos has been spending a lot of time in the trainer’s office getting fixed up. Even some time in the hospital. Clearly this product has been damaged, and as such we should get a discount.
$400K off for Stamkos’ broken leg and blood clots might be the best coupon I could find!
Who has the Cock? WE HAVE THE COCK! That’s right, we can get ourselves a $150K discount because Mike Babcock is the head coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs.
I still can’t even believe that. Imagine when Stamkos is the first line center of the Toronto Maple Leafs…
DREAMS COME TRUE
Dreams really do come true thanks to TLN’s Extreme Couponing: Stamkos Savings.
Come back next week when we find some really good deals on avocados!
Many, many thanks to Reddit user /u/BettmanReturns for the amazing photoshop work helping me make this piece happen.