Photo Credit: Joshua Dahl/USA TODAY SPORTS
are we sure Andersen isn’t a secret Staal brother?
Will Arnett is hosting the NHL Awards live from Las Vegas and I think is the only arm (save for Frederik Andersen, who probably still hasn’t stepped foot in town yet) of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the room. Our show begins with a bit about Will begging Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel to co-host with him. The show is also making strides to be relevant with all the usage of electronic dance music. They probably just ran around Electric Daisy Carnival yelling “WE NEED MUSIC THE KIDS ARE INTO” and here we are.
It’s a great thing that Will is wearing a blue suit and tie because it compliments his orange tan so well. And that is a fact, kids. That is colour theory at play. And he drives home his bleeding blue and white status by informing us all how he’s wearing Leafs socks and underwear. “And the Leafs playoff beard!” I don’t even care he’s mocking the Leafs; the jokes just aren’t even funny because we’ve heard them years on end.
There is some little actor named Jacob Tremblay in a Canucks jersey to present the Calder, and he has better joke delivery than Will. Honestly, his comedic timing is aces. I’ve already opted to give up on recapping the award contents when Arnett made a gross joke about host Erin Heatherton and essentially pointed out she’s there to be looked at.
Scrolling through Getty – we’re going to hit the highlights of the fashion highlights. Or, whatever I have the ability to embed.
Photo Credit: Joshua Dahl/USA TODAY SPORTS
PK showed up in a crisp white jack with a custom patch and put all the other fools to shame. PK is on a Tom Haverford fashion level, and I love it. Is this an exclusive club jacket? How do I get one? Wait, is this actually silver? Let’s all look at PK a second and thinking about how you’re at least spared a fashion recap of the golf outing. Most players showed up to the awards looking like Men’s Warehouse.
For reasons I don’t understand, Jason Priestly is at the NHL Awards and looks fantastic. The pattern in his suit is subtle, and his tie is crisp. Well groomed facial hair. Tailoring!!! Essentially, this is how I hope for hockey players to look.
Braden Holtby is daring wearing tweed, in the summer, in fabulous Las Vegas. The shoes look suede, and this is an excellent example of mixing textures to keep the look interesting. I’d guess this is a three piece, and the lapels aren’t smoothed out. This is an outfit that takes effort, and it shows he wanted to look better than off the rack.
Mark Giordano looks a bit like a Bond villain with a dash of Merlin from Kingsman: The Secret Service. The tones are in the right family, and the tie being darkest is a lovely accent. Look at this suit fitting! Splendid. Hey, he just won an award. I looked up and noticed this suit is all greys, and it is picturing blues. Still, an excellent complete look.
Jim Halpert goes to a wedding I guess? I’m so bored. The bulk of my criticism is the brown belt and shoes (thank you for matching!) just doesn’t work with this event. This is also more of a casual boardroom look instead of an “I’m potentially winning something my name is engraved on.”
I just wanted a reason to include a photo of Pascal Dupuis. Both have a solid look. Nothing flashy, which I don’t expect them to do. It’s just nice. Sidney, you should have shined your shoes. Come on.
I’m so sorry this is awkward and painful, Barkov. POWER POSES. Those are a thing you should learn. It is nice you decided on some colour, however, button up that shirt and toss on a tie. Stop trying to be the cool science teacher.
Mats! If only you had some reflective surface or digital device to examine your image and fix your tie!!!!!!! However, he does have it at the proper length which is skimming the belt buckle. I’m sure some of the taller players struggle with this. Though, if Chara can find a tie that’s long enough, so should everyone else. I admire his commitment to the long hair. He keeps it clean, and it always looks so soft. What conditioner do you use? Please don’t say Suave.
Bish, this jacket is everything. Appropriately Vegas without camp. Ee, oh eleven, indeed. He brought a winning smile and knows his angles so he photographs well.
Also in the Danny Ocean crew is Brent! The confidence of wearing a jewel-tone suit in a smooth and shiny finish. Look at the vest, get a load of that vest! Everything is so exquisite, and Brent shows up as he is without the teeth but with the hair and tiny pony situation. It is weird enough to round out the look.
Thank you for joining me on this fashion roundup! We’ll circle up on this again when all the offseason pics start rolling in and I begin sobbing over all the dad shorts and New Balance sneaker ensembles.