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5 Leafs You’d Want As Your Amazon Key Delivery Driver

You may have seen the recent release that Amazon has come up with an exciting new way for you to be murdered, assaulted, robbed, receive parcels. It’s called Amazon Key and it seems terrible in every sense of the word.

Since I find Amazon Key to be a fascinating disaster waiting to happen, and because I’m not one to turn down a kiss from Adam, I give you the top 5 Leafs I’d love to see as a Amazon Key Delivery Driver.

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1. Roman Polak

Might as well get the low hanging fruit out of the way early, and potentially if Roman Polak is busy with making deliveries and breaking into houses, he won’t have time to be delivering slashes to opponents, and not breaking out of the defensive zone. I can’t see Polak lasting long at Amazon though because they value speed.

2. William Nylander

Now if we’re going to other end of the spectrum and look at who we’d like to see still playing for the Leafs, we get William Nylander. I’m not sure that William Nylander would be particularly good at delivering parcels, but I am confident he’d fill out the uniform nicely. The downside to him being an Amazon Key driver is he’s there when you aren’t so you don’t getting see is beautiful style and flowing locks in person.

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3. Matt Martin

Because you know your package and your home are going to be protected.

4. Joffrey Lupul

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If there is anyone who understands “handle with care” it’s Joffrey Lupul. Your porcelain kitties will be placed gingerly on a steady surface. The only problem with Lupul being a delivery man is that you would need a clear path, no cracks in your sidewalk, and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DE-ICE YOUR STEPS otherwise you are looking at a lawsuit.

5. Leafs Bloggers

While technically not part of the Leafs organization, it would be good for this group to get outside and earn a real paycheck from an honest days work. Maybe with an Amazon Key delivery job we can finally move out of our Mom’s basement. I’m not sure you’d really want Leafs bloggers as your Amazon Key delivery people, because it’s not often you hear about people wanting more bloggers in their life, but there certainly seem to be enough Leafs bloggers that Amazon could be staffed twice over.

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