Monday Mailbag: Injured Reserve Edition

I miss Auston already. The way he scored goals. The way he helped others score goals. The way his eyes would light up when he was endorsing a product. IT’S NOT FAIR DAMMIT! Anyway, it’s not a big deal. It’s the regular season and there are few things that matter less than the NHL regular season. Still it hurts.

Anyways, here are the questions and answers you’ve been jonesin’ for.

Thank you for the very handsome and well thought out question. I must say that I am in full agreement with the idea of playing Nylander at center until Matthews comes back if that is the way the stars align.

There is an opportunity to build a very reasonable sheltered scoring line out of Johnsson-Nylander-Leivo, and it’s hard to imagine that Babcock wouldn’t love the idea of a  Lindholm-Gauthier-Brown. It’s a great chance for Nylander to develop, get back into the swing of things and maintain a fairly balanced attack in Matthews absence.

In contrast, I wouldn’t complain about a Tre Kronor line of Johnsson-Lindholm-Nylander either, but just because I love theme lines and can’t help myself. Basically there isn’t an option where Nylander comes back that would make me sad. Unless they put him with Gauthier. Gauthier always makes me sad.

It seems presumptuous to assume that I can’t time travel. I mean, yes, I can’t time travel and time traveling would be great.

After repeatedly time traveling to Ancient Greece and being told he wasn’t real, I’d probably give up on trying to steal Atlas’ shoulder. In fact, I’d probably give up on the idea of getting the most durable shoulder all together at that point, and start looking for the best shoulder to cry on. After researching this on google, it appears the best shoulder to cry on belongs to the best friend. Since Ross was the best Friend, I would acquire David Schwimmer’s shoulder.

If you have money to pay down debt, you have money for Leaf jerseys. Go pick up a Tavares today.





I saved this question for last because I really feel I’ve thought my approach this year better than previous ones. The biggest advantage for me is that my daughter is still young and doesn’t have any particular attachment to full size chocolate bars. In fact, she prefers the small ones since they are “cutesy bootsies.” Being able to heist every full size bar is a huge win for me, and I didn’t have to concede anything for it.

The second part of this is that for the candy I’m giving out, I went with all of her favourites. Aero bars, Smarties, and Kit Kats. There is nothing wrong with any of those options, but since they are her favourites, I can trust that she will want to eat this candy instead of the greater variety that I will have in her bag, while still leaving me with a supply of leftover candy that I won’t have any objection to consuming, except for the Smarties. Smarties seem like a hassle.

So we’ve got a good base of candy, which was over purchased when it was on sale a month ago, and a child with no interest in full size bars. I’m set up for success.

Now as to how much I plan on heisting? Well, I’ve got a four year old, who isn’t going to get all that she collected anyway and won’t be allowed more than a piece or two a day. I’d say I’m getting a shit ton of candy. There is a hitch to this, though but we’ll get to that in a minute.

As for varieties, I’m prone to taking chips, anything sour, and weird options that I never saw in the story when I went to pick up candy (where are all of you finding baby ruths?) I’ll probably take a few Reese’s cups as well, because why not, and all the Swedish berries. Full can of pop? Don’t mind if I do. There’s no reason a four year old should have that anyway.

The hitch that I mentioned is that my wife is seven months pregnant, and if I think that I am getting a majority share of the heisted Halloween candy, I’m a damned fool.

With that we close another mailbag. I hope you found this as rewarding to read as I found it rewarding to write.

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