Well, the Toronto Marlies defeated the Hamilton Bulldogs 3-1 in Cobourg Saturday night. If the highlight video is any indication, it may be useful to not watch any highlight videos without first turning off your computer speakers. This is the time of year when the familiar sounds of sticks, pucks and skates are expected and perhaps the Marlies would have been better off letting the sounds of the game explain themselves.
So, what happened in each of the above clips? Well, I’ll break down the video, quite literally:
0:00 – 0:02: Ben Scrivens and Mark Owuya lead the team out onto the ice.
0:03 – 0:04: Nazem Kadri, Greg Scott and Jesse Blacker are seen lining up for the national anthem.
0:05 – 0:08: That is former OHL tough guy Jamie Devane laying a licking on some unsuspecting Montreal Canadiens prospect. I’d let you know who that is, but his nameplate is tough to read and the AHL has not yet released numbered rosters for the 2013 season.
0:09 – 0:10: Jamie Devane being led off the ice. Atta go Jamie.
0:10 – 0:12: The Bulldogs are celebrating Stephen MacAulay’s goal. Here’s the goods on that, from the Bulldogs.com writeup:
The Bulldogs opened the scoring at 4:19 of the opening stanza on a goal by Stephen MacAulay. After Kevin Gagne put the puck on the net, MacAulay shovelled in the rebound from the top of the crease with a backhander past Toronto Marlies starting goaltender Ben Scrivens.
It’s a Saint John Sea Dogs reunion, there.
0:13 – 0:14: The Marlies look incredibly distraught after conceding a preseason goal.
0:15 – 0:19: That is Brad Ross positioning himself in front of the net. You get a bad angle of the play so it’s tough to see the whole play. The puck was slapped on net, but it doesn’t say by who. Jake Gardiner and Mike Kostka recorded assists on the play, so it’s guesswork.
0:20 – 0:21: Way ta go boys.
0:22 – 0:33: Here’s a steady stream of highlights. Kostka for the Marlies makes a big hit on some Bulldogs player. Nazem Kadri takes a slap shot, presumably after first taking a bite out of the puck. Somebody from Cobourg watches a stoppage with fiery intent. Kostka is hit again. Keith Aucoin takes a face-off and the other guy falls down. A referee stands in front of the net and…
0:34 – 0:35: …wait, did the Marlies just score? Greg Scott and Nazem Kadri celebrate. It’s the first goal we can really see, where Scott just fires a low puck in.
Jake Gardiner passed the puck from the right point to the right circle where Nazem Kadri was stationed. Kadri then slid a pass to Scott in the slot who buried the puck under [Robert] Mayer.
Cool, I guess. That goal came with 2:05 to go. And you know what happens in close hockey games, right? All hell breaks loose and there’s a bunch of pointless scrums, as the old saying goes.
0:36 – 0:38: Some more roughhousing. That’s #25 for the Marlies going on somebody, Kenny Ryan wore #25 for the team last year but he’s not a fighter. Again, with no roster, this stuff doesn’t exactly work.
0:39 – 0:41: Wait, did we shoot enough B-roll? Hockey players skating from below the waist.
0:42 – 0:46: Another chance in front, and, woah, there’s a look at the clock! Time is winding down in a 2-1 game!
0:47 – 0:52: Greg McKegg bears down on an empty net and ices this one. That was anti-climactic. You know when sports movies show the scoreboard ticking down and there’s one last play with seconds to go? A breakaway with an empty net isn’t the way to go about it, unless McKegg has somehow turned into Patrick Stefan.
0:53 – 1:00: And the Marlies “celly” their victory together.
This allows us to calculate “Marlies metrics”, or how much time the highlight video spent on one particular aspect of the game. Overall, I counted about 28 seconds worth of B-roll footage, 25 seconds of actual hockey and seven seconds of fighting.
What did we learn about these players from the highlight video that we didn’t know before? I’m stumped.