Bylsma, you ready? Good, ’cause you’re up next in our series of very real and not at all fake coaching resumes.
I am a Stanley Cup winning head coach and would also not like to live in Newark, New Jersey.
Head Coach of the Pittsburgh Penguins (2009-2014)
Won a Stanley Cup just 49 games into my NHL head coaching career, then continued to not miss the playoffs for the next five seasons. I like to think I had a big role in shaping Sidney Crosby into the superstar that he is today. Same goes for Evgeni Malkin and Kris Letang and Marc-Ahhh-nevermind, just the other guys I mentioned.
Head Coach of Team USA at the Olympic Winter Games (2014)
Lead the nation’s best against Canada in the semifinals (and got shutout), then against Finland in the bronze medal game (and got shut out). Not the result we were looking for, but still a cherished moment in my career.
Head Coach of the Wilkes-Barre Scranton Penguins (2008-2009) and Assistant Coach (2006-2008)
I have extensive experience in working with AHL-caliber players, so I should fit in just fine with the current Leafs’ roster. Was part of three straight playoff berths for the Baby Pens, including a trip to the 2008 Calder Cup Finals (losing to the Chicago Wolves). Helped develop top prospects such as, uh, Luca Caputi?
Assistant Coach of the New York Islanders (2005-2006)
Coached a healthy Rick DiPietro. How many coaches can say that?
Assistant Coach of the Cincinnati Mighty Ducks (2004-2005)
I’d say I’m at least partially responsible for all of the good things that Joffrey Lupul does. I coached him in Cincinnati.
- Coached only 49 NHL games before winning my first Stanley Cup
- Fastest Head Coach to Reach 200 and 250 NHL Wins
- Jack Adams Award Winner, 2011
- Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, 2006
- Not Coaching the New Jersey Devils
- Living in a place that is not Newark, New Jersey
- Disco Music and Dancing
Hiring Manager’s Notes
Dan Bylsma has been out of a job for a full year now, but his track record is solid enough that we can overlook a little rust. As fellow hiring manager Shawn Reis pointed out earlier today, Bylsma has coached consistently good puck possession teams. Sure, it helps a bit (a lot) when you’re sending Crosby & Co. over the boards, but at least Bylsma implemented a system that worked for them.
It’s not fair to say that Bylsma won’t be able to replicate the success without the horses in Toronto – in that case, you’d have to say that no “good coach” is suitable for the Leafs, and that’s just ridiculous. After Mike Babcock, Bylsma represents a second tier of capable candidates along with Todd McLellan. We should keep this resume close.