Editors Note: An earlier version of this post had the incorrect birthdays for a number of players. Those corrections have been made and new line combinations have been assessed. I apologize to the universe for the previous error.
Stats and talent can only get you so far in sports. There’s a fundamental human factor that make sports unpredictable and exciting to watch. However, there has to be a way of predicting the human factor and optimizing the performance of the athletes working together. Enter astrology.
At no point has any NHL coach bothered to take the time to see which players are going to naturally excel together given their zodiac capability. And while I’m no coach, I’ve decided to take the challenge on for Sheldon Keefe, so he can have optimal lines this summer.
First, a breakdown of which players are compatible with each other…
The green represents the players sign, with the yellow representing compatibility through sharing either a water, earth, air, or fire sign. The white Xs represent additional compatibility. Interestingly enough there isn’t a single Aires on the Leafs, and Cody Ceci is the only Sagittarius. Perhaps that’s why he isn’t much of a fit.
It is possible to put together a Leafs lineup with four lines and three defense pairings that include compatible players on each line and each pairing.
|Earth Sign 1||Gauthier||Matthews||Marner|
|Earth Sign 2||Clifford||Tavares||Nylander|
Leafs clearly live and die by their earth signs, and perhaps the key to success if the gritty, defensive addition to the Virgo/Taurus combos of Matthews/Marner and Tavares/Nylander.
The Kerfoot, Kapanen Leo connection will have a chance to be revisited with the return of their Libra buddy in Mikheyev. Maybe Mike Babcock was wise to astrology when he was building his lines.
The all out Gemini line of Engvall, Spezza, and Hyman is perfectly compatible and gives the Leafs the opportunity to roll four solid lines that make fans and the universe happy.
If we throw Lefty/Righty out the window the Leafs can put together three compatible pairings. Muzzin and Rielly as an unstoppable Pisces pairing is what Leafs nation and the cosmos demand.
Sandin is the odd Pisces out of the top pairing, but his compatibility with Dermott make him a solid second pairing option, while we land with two fiery righties in the sheltered bottom pairing. (Of course Ceci is a fire sign).
As for goaltenders, well, they are more voodoo than astrology, but Andersen and Campbell both being fairly incompatible with most of their blueline seems a little on the nose and sums out the Leafs defensive and goaltending woes perfectly. This is something for Dubas to address in the offseason.
Hopefully Keefe will look to the stars and realize that the answers to the Leafs cup drought has been in front of him the entire time and let’s astrology take over the roster.