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What the hell is going on with Fred?

Hello darkness, my old friend. The Maple Leafs have a starting goalie problem. Again. What was a seemingly uncatchable lead in the North Division not two weeks ago has been eaten up by porous goaltending over the Leafs’ last five matches. In spaces, the team’s performance might’ve been better, Saturday night’s game among them. The…

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We’re done with Steve Simmons

You might consider forgiving a long-standing mainstream sports columnist for repetitive jabs at the local silly professional sports team, and especially at its young, somewhat different manager. When a team misses the playoffs for 12 consecutive seasons, they should bear the shame. But when that team turns it around under new management, you would expect…

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The Biggest Losers

You may remember the Maple Leafs lost a hockey game to a 42-year-old Zamboni driver and rent-a-goalie last month. You may remember the city of Toronto was rightfully embarrassed; shades of the dialogue in Moneyball where Billy Beane explains, “There are rich teams and there are poor teams. Then, there’s 50 feet of shit. Then,…

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Another tragedy at the TD Garden

Another tragedy at the TD Garden. An opportunity at a gettable path through to the Stanley Cup final squandered. It was antithetical Leafs; they generally outperformed Boston at even strength through the series, held the series lead three times, and held a one score lead at home in game six to threaten Boston’s elimination. And…

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Yes, you should absolutely blow those savings on Leafs playoff tickets

It goes without saying – not everyone can afford Leafs playoff tickets. I won’t tell you to go broke or give up your rent or stop eating or anything delusional like that. But if you’re middle class, if you’re contemplating how to spend your extra cash, torn between the new piece of lawn furniture or…

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Takes by Jake: the Leafs as Pokémon

The Leafs are Pokemon now. My online ridiculers have only emboldened me to write this piece. I’ve not made any changes and won’t be taking any recommendations, as I’ve accumulated the equivalent of a bachelor’s degree on the intersectionality of hockey and Pokemon. I don’t make the rules, so don’t hate me. I’m just playing…

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It’s okay to be happy about Auston Matthews’ future

Be Happy, Leafs Fan. I remember 5-13-2013 better than I remember yesterday. It sucked major shit. We crowded MLSQ and down Bremner, we stood in bars and in front of our televisions as silence befell us. At 4-1, a euphoria. Hugs with strangers. Talk of plans to travel to New York City, to taste the…