Face It: William Nylander’s New Contract Will Make You Ashamed Of Your Dad

Toronto Maple Leafs forward William Nylander has been beloved in the city of Toronto since he was first drafted in the summer of 2014, and for good reason. Nylander has put up back-to-back 61 point seasons since becoming a full-time member of the Leafs’ new young core, and looks poised to perform to even higher standards moving forward.

What isn’t emphasized enough, however, is the fact that Nylander was performing to these standards at only $925,000 per season. Now that he’s due for more, you better be ready to feel ashamed at how little your dad makes in comparison, and really how much of a pitiful non-factor he is in general.

We ran the numbers, and they pretty much suck as far as your dad is concerned. Good luck looking your dad in the eye when the Leafs are on, and William Nylander is lighting up teams and making $6.5 Million per year, while your dad’s hauling in 50K for hauling ass at his job of shame.

Your dad probably looks like his body still works sometimes. Have fun riding the Shame Train, population you and your dad.

Gross!

Meanwhile, William Nylander’s new contract will not only give him money to buy a cool new car for you to ride around in without your dad, it’ll also mean he gets to wear the Leafs’ beautiful new logo for several years to come.

Tough luck for all the dads out there whenever William decides to sign. Tougher luck for everybody who will definitely be ashamed of their fathers’ insignificance.