Five Times I Personally Found Brad Marchand Eating Trash

Tonight, the Toronto Maple Leafs head to Boston to kick off their first-round series against the Boston Bruins.

In case you didn’t know, the Boston Bruins employ a human man named Brad Machand. At least, he allegedly claims that he’s a human man, and definitely not a rat who eats out of Boston’s finest trash cans.

With the Leafs shipping off to Boston, let’s take a look at some of the finest trash that I have personally found Brad Marchand eating.

Here’s a fun one to start things off. This was actually the most recent time I found Brad Marchand eating trash, after he was fined $5,000 for cross-checking Andrew McDonald earlier this month. The remarkable thing was how soon after the game I found him like this; the arena had hardly begun to clear out before he started going at the leftovers from the concessions.

It’s a shame he didn’t get suspended, as he would have had more time for trash-eating. Oh well.

The fun thing about these pictures is that they’re actually only taken a few hours apart. Sure it was after Brad and the Bruins had just won the Stanley Cup, but at least Nazem Kadri will look a little more graceful once the Leafs hoist Lord Stanley’s mug in June.

The third time was actually pretty cool, because not only did I get to see Brad Marchand eating Boston’s finest trash, but he also brought a couple of his teammates along with him.

I know the Leafs can afford personal chefs, and I’m honestly sure that the Bruins probably can too, but at some point you’ve got to accept that some players just want to eat human waste and filth instead, which is a perfectly understandable thing.

Remember when Brad Marchand got suspended five games for elbowing Marcus Johansson? Me too, because of how shocked I was that the NHL actually suspended Brad Marchand.

The best thing about the suspension for Brad personally was that he got to spend much more time actually sifting through the trash, and was actually able to find an old banana peel (pictured above) that he would probably later use to trip somebody up and not get suspended for it.

Classic NHL, am I right folks?

Lastly, here we have dumb Brad Marchand eating the absolute worst cereal in the world (Cinnamon Toast Crunch), out of the Stanley Cup. Go ahead and laugh and make jokes that none of the Leafs have gotten to eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch out of the Stanley Cup, but you won’t be laughing when we get to see Mitch Marner drink Mountain Dew out of the cup with a crazy straw.

Also, I’d like to think that every single one of the Leafs would look cuter eating out of the Cup than the alleged human man pictured above.

That’s all for now, folks. If you’re on your way down to Boston for tonight’s game, be on the lookout for Brad Marchand scurrying around your feet as you’re walking through the city.