my column: november 24

Hi welcome to my column, the only column that is mine. I’d like to first get something off my chest *finishes his set of 250 pound bench press, sticks his tongue out at roman polak*. Okay but for real there was a lot of good feedback after last week’s my column. I have incorporated it into this column. I was told to make it more readable so I have done that by using actual punctuation sometimes which is annoying. Your Welcome readers. Secondly, I was told to get a new pen name that was better and that name is now Hockey McCanada. 

Secondly, I’d like to thank all of the readers who have nominated my column for best and most consistent column of the year. Maybe Elliotte Friedman can take some notes on getting 30 thoughts up on time every week. As you can see i have columns up two Mondays in a row. Sidenote I think another column that Friedman should write is 30 Thots that would be a lot more interesting if you ask me.

It’s been cold and miserable in Toronto this week – and the weather hasn’t been so great either. The Leafs played two of there worst games ever, and then didn’t like when 2013 Sports Media Canada George Gross Award Winner Steve Simmons questioned them about it. I don’t know about you but I think it says a lot about the leadership on this team that they didn’t answer Steve truthfully when he asked if they were trying to get Randy Carlyle fired – they said stuff like “no” and “f&$@ no”. I’m not Maury but I can tell a liar when I see one and maybe it’s just the moustache but Dion Phanhoof was definitely lying.

After lying to our faces, the Leafs then metaphorically lied to our faces by not saluting us after their good win against Steven Stamkos. I’m really god damn mad about them not saluting me. I demand to be saluted. No one in my family respects me as the patriarch that I am so I know for damn sure that I want my hockey team to recognize it. Let’s be honest I don’t know how many times the Leafs are actually going to win games so every opportunity to salute could be their last. maybe Leafs PR can add “complementary salute” to the fine print when u buy tickets.

The Leafs said they stopped saluting because they wanted to change rituals. Hey guys hot tip but how about changing up that ritual where u don’t make the playoffs every year. Anyways it definitely worked because they then had another win that showed the Real Leafs by beating a Detroit team that was missing their best player. 

After the Detroit game the Leafs did salute the fans so clearly they learnt their lesson but more importantly i am validated.

Lots of talk about Komarov having 14 points while Nazem “The Nightmare” Kadri only has 9 and it is well deserved if u ask me. Komarov does all the things u need to do to win hockey games: compete and try hard. On the other hand kadri is a floater that does nothing. 

Comparing these players makes total sense. They are totally similar as in they are both small, but one plays big and the other one doesn’t. And why have more than one player that is good on the team. We have too many guys that can play the game of hockey if you ask me. What I am trying to say is we should #TradeKadri please RT

Dave Nonis showed good leadership this week unlike Dion Phaneuf by addressing the media after the team’s big loss when he didn’t have to. None of this is his fault it’s all the players and the coaching a little bit maybe, and he has nothing to do with either the players or the coach. 

Anyways he said some good things that were good. One of those good things was that the Leafs weren’t going to trade a young guy for an old guy. This was important to note because if there is one thing fed-up fans are asking for is to trade young guys for old guys. Nonis really has his finger on the pulse of the fans.

The 2nd thing Nonis said is that he wasn’t going to make a panic move after a big loss. Nonis has done some questionable things but he has never made a bunch of big panic moves after one loss so I believe him and treat his opinion as credible on this matter.

Well I will say this: this week told me a lot about the leafs – that even when you think they are really bad they are actually a really good team in disguise. They are hustlers and like to fool teams into thinking they are bad so they can pounce later. And after the last two games i am in “buy” mode and think these Leafs are ready for the playoffs. asked me a few days ago and I would have said they’re bad but not anymore. They competed more finally and that’s all u gotta do in today’s game. 

Thank u.