Postgame: All Aboard the Dermott Express

Do you feel that?

That, my friends, is joy. Pure, unadulterated, unflinching joy. A type of joy that both warms your heart, and tickles your toes. A type of joy that only a team who has put you through 50 years of pain and suffering can give you.

And boy, does it ever feel good.

PARENTAL ADVISORY WARNING: the following image contains scenes of violence which may not be suitable for viewers under the age of 18.

To say that the Leafs murdered the Islanders in the possession game tonight would be an understatement.

No, the Leafs did far more than just murder the Isles. They brought them back to life, killed them again, and then stomped on their grave.

It was awesome.

This was, without a doubt, the most fun period of Leafs hockey since opening night. Well, at least until the second period rolled around.

I still straight up refuse to believe that this is the same team who dump and chased their way into mediocrity just two weeks ago. It’s almost like icing a lineup full of skill is a good thing. Who knew?!

Now, would you believe that the Leafs outshot the Isles 14-4 in the first period?

Well, you better. Because it’s the truth. And if you don’t believe it, you’re basically calling me a liar. And I am NOT a liar.

Anyway, Matthew Barzal Kasperi Kapanen opened the scoring 5 minutes in, putting the Leafs up 1-0 by winning a strong net-front battle like the good boy he is. For those unaware, this now makes it 3 goals in the last 6 NHL games for our son Kasperi.

Did you hear that? It’s the sound of Matt Martin’s lineup spot slowly fading from existence. 

Then, 8 minutes later, our Lord and Saviour Auston Matthews™ stretched the Leafs lead to 2, thanks in part to a wonderful individual effort from Zach Hyman.

 

I have genuine romantic feelings for that shot. It’s the sexiest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Good lord.

After a period like that, one could only wonder how much more excitement this game could offer. Little did we know, as the first period came to a close, that the best was yet to come.

Yeah, yeah, Mitch Marner scored to put the Leafs up 3-0 and celebrated like a kid who just ran the table in a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament.

Although, millennia into the future when archaeologists look back upon this game, they won’t focus on that at all.

They’ll focus on this.

Yes, you are witnessing Travis “Literally Jesus” Dermott score his first NHL goal.

That’s it. We’ve found internet’s most perfect gif. Might as well pack it all in now.

Funnily enough, the puck crossing the line was far from the most notable thing about Dermott’s goal. That honour undoubtedly goes to the reaction of Travis’s father, Jim Dermott, who was brought to tears by watching his son’s lifelong dream come true right before his eyes.

In that moment, we were all Jim Dermott.

Buckle up, kids. We’re not done yet.

As if the night hadn’t already reached maximum joy capacity, Justin Holl pushed it even further.

In an act of sheer fate, Holl managed to turn a meandering rush down the offensive wing into his first NHL goal, extending the Leafs lead to 5-0(!).

A mere 4 years ago, Holl was toiling in the ECHL, essentially an afterthought to the Chicago Blackhawks, who had team drafted him in 2010.

Fast forward to tonight, and we’ve just witnessed him be named an AHL All-Star AND score his first NHL goal all in less than a week.

Never give up on your dreams, kids.

Want to know just how dominant the Leafs were in this game? It’s taken me this long to mention the inevitability of Toronto signing John Tavares this summer.

And when that happens, we should all thank Frederik Andersen. Tonight he taught ol’ Johnny T that won’t be robbed like this if they play on the same team.

See you in July, Johnathan!

And so, as a night of happiness and youthful wonder concluded, the Leafs emerged victorious by a score of 5-0.

Just like God intended.

#DermottForCalder confirmed.

As it should be.

Pictured below: a Leafs legend. Also pictured: Curtis Joseph.

*swoons*

Want to know the best part of all this? We only have to wait 24 hours to watch the Leafs dominate all over again, as the Buds visit the Big Apple tomorrow to take on the Rangers at 7 pm.

New York ain’t ready for this.