It’s a very special day for those of us who cling to holidays created by ’90s sitcoms. Happy Festivus! A Festivus for the rest of us. Given that we’re a bunch of weak bloggers, we’ll forego the feats of strength this year and focus entirely on what we know best, and that’s airing our grievances. The NHL, Leafs, and the hockey world at large have given us plenty to work with in 2020 and we’ll get down to identifying who put the bees in our bonnet over the past 12 months.

Around this time of year during a normal hockey season, NHL teams will be wrapping up a stretch of games before a Christmas break begins. My question is simple: why doesn’t the NHL try to schedule games on Christmas? I understand the players want to spend time with their families and they are completely justified in desiring that, but one thing I enjoy on Christmas is watching a prime-time NBA game on that same day. It would be a glorious opportunity for the league to market their players and put them on a big stage (think of the potential ratings!). Do I think this will actually happen? Nope, but the fact that it won’t makes me scream “bah humbug” into the void.

My Festivus grievance is that people won’t stay home this holiday season. STAY HOME. Every time you go see someone who’s not in your household, unless you’re 6 ft apart and wearing surgical masks the whole time, you’re putting your life and the lives of others at risk. And as if that’s not enough, you’re putting hockey as a whole behind. The NWHL, for instance, planned their up and coming league with ticket revenue for this season, which they’re not getting, which means that in order to play their bubble season and pay players their full contract amounts, the league is likely putting itself into an uncomfortable financial position. Not to mention junior men’s hockey leagues, the ECHL, and other small leagues that may not be able to sustain paying players to play without having fans in the stands. This will inevitably hurt the pipeline of talent in the game we all love. So, I repeat, STAY HOME.

The festivus grievance that I would like to air is that there isn’t enough respect league wide towards Auston Matthews name. His 2019-20 season is one that should easily put him in the elite tier as far as the young talent in the league goes, and yet people laugh at the idea that he is even mentioned in the same conversation as Nathan MacKinnon or Leon Draisaitl. The reality is that he has not only emerged as the best goal scorer in the league since entering the league (based on his league leading G/60 at all strengths and his total even strength goals), but he also put up defensive numbers this season that we haven’t even seen from the likes of MacKinnon, Draisaitl, or even McDavid. The argument could probably be made that he’s as good or even better than most of this rising surge of elite young talent (except McDavid obviously), and it really bothers me that that is considered a hot take. I don’t think that will change this season (people will claim he was only good because of a weak division), but in the next couple years, I think Matthews will become the Ovechkin to McDavid’s Crosby as the faces of the NHL.

My festivus grievance is that the Leafs don’t play enough afternoon games. Other teams play multiple Saturday at 2pm or whenever at 4pm games but because the Leafs are such a big market they’re always playing at 7/7:30pm (or 10pm on the west coast). The next gen afternoon games this past season were so fun and finally accessible for families with young kids. Cultivating a love of the game in young children should be a priority, and with it the accessibility of day time games. And if I’m whining from a personal standpoint – 7-8:30ish is bath and bedtime for my young kids, which majorly cuts into my ability to watch the games. Earlier games (2pm, 4pm, 5pm) would make it easier not just for my and other kids to watch, but for PARENTS to watch, too. I haven’t even touched on how day time or early evening games would make it easier for families to attend games because right now that’s off the table, but in the future it would be awesome if 7-8pm wasn’t the default start time for almost every Leafs game.

A festivus grievance you say? After finally getting a real look at the NHL’s upcoming season and seeing that the Maple Leafs have a solid chance to do something special, they need to do it. My grievance is that the Leafs do nothing special. Ever. This is the year for them to make it to the conference finals, or at least for everyone’s sanity, win a round. If none of this happens, I’m filing a tier two festivus grievance and the Maple Leafs don’t want to know what that is. So, Toronto — you know what to do.

My grievance is that it took Joe Thornton this long to come home. I’m married to a Sharks fan. Do you know how stupid I’ve looked each offseason for the last three years when he ended up re-signing with San Jose?

There are literally hundreds of solid options out there. Some speaking to the tone deaf nature of the league and the culture of the sport. Some speaking to the greed of owners, but at this particular moment I feel like complaining about the hard salary cap. In these uncertain times, when good players can’t be signed and poorer teams find creative ways to be cap compliant, wouldn’t it be nice if the could address this lack of operating income through a luxury tax system? I’m not crazy enough to believe we’ll ever get rid of the cap completely, but how I yearn for a luxury tax or franchise player option to soften the hard cap.