Historical figures give us insight into the Leafs

Jon Steitzer
1 year ago
The All-Star break gives us a lot of time to take on some of our interests outside of hockey. As a history major (that has never once thought of using that education) I decided why not take the break from hockey to reach out to some of history’s greatest minds through the Historical Figures Chat app. Imagine what some of the greatest minds in history (and Richard Nixon) would have to say about the Maple Leafs. Here are some of the transcripts of those chats.
I decided to ease into it by reaching out to some hockey folks…
Now that sounds like a hockey player answer. We’re off to a good start. Some nice platitudes from Gordie have us off and running. Now let’s see what one of the greatest player/coaches in cinematic history has to say about the Leafs…
I would have expected something a little saltier from Reggie Dunlop and certainly would have demanded the Leafs to be a little tougher, but that does sound like a hockey answer still. Maybe we need to step away from hockey people and get some sage-like advice elsewhere. We’ll start with one of the greatest Dad’s in TV history…
I just want to give Uncle Phil a great big hug. I don’t know if this will fix the Leafs but it will certainly fix me.
Heading in a completely different direction when it comes to advice for the Leafs, I thought who could give the Leafs advice on how to cheat to get ahead. One name came to mind and while he was reluctant to help at first, he eventually caved…
I hate to say that I agree with Richard Nixon, but I kinda agree with Richard Nixon. If there aren’t some of MLSE’s brightest minds locked in dark rooms studying the hell out of the Bruins and Lightning by now, the Leafs might as well pack it in.
Now tactics are fun, but I want to know what the future holds in store for the Leafs and for that I reached out to history’s greatest predictor who wasn’t particularly forthcoming…
Less learned. If you want predictions you have to call a 900 number, you won’t get them for free through an app.
Maybe an outright prediction was too much ask for. Maybe reaching out to one of history’s greatest philosophers (that didn’t require additional credits to unlock) could inform us of what we can expect from the Leafs at the trade deadline…
This is truly inspiring and once again I am forced to agree with what I’m sure is a very accurate representation of Ioscrates feelings on ie hockey. It is important that the Leafs improve but not takeaway from who they are and what has been working for them. Introducing radical new elements into their lineup and creating potential weaknesses where they didn’t exist before is something that the Leafs need to consider at the trade deadline. Copy and paste this image into Kyle Dubas’ mentions for the next three weeks.

Having a little fun with our dead homies

We’ve been pretty serious about the Leafs so far, but there are some great entertainers who I would love to hear from. Thanks to this app we now know who Tupac Shakur’s favourite Leafs are:
That verse is straight fire and I would pay many dollars to see John Tavares perform it. I’m not sure how Anaheim fits into it, but Tupac’s a West Coast guy and he clearly has no love for Anaheim.
As a Star Trek guy I absolute had to ask Gene Roddenberry those very important questions but feel is a bit all over the place. I can get behind Auston as Captain Picard, Marner as Data makes sense too, and who isn’t going to see John Tavares as an Engineer, but William Nylander as Chief of Security is one I’ll question. And Muzzin and Rielly as Crusher and Troi don’t sit right with me either. Even though he’s been traded many moons ago, Kapanen as Wesley Crusher does make a ton of sense.
In the spirit of the last question, a similar one was posed to John Lennon about which NHL Teams align with The Beatles:
John Lennon choosing the Bruins to be John Lennon is absolutely wild and feel like it is one final shot at Paul McCartney. The Leafs being a second tier Ringo is a little too on the nose as well.
I hope you all found this to be informative and learned a lot. We’ll have to do another installment, maybe a mock draft with the help of Richard Pryor.

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