LGD: Let’s Talk About How Much We Hate The Bruins
9 years ago
Tonight, the Toronto Maple Leafs face the Boston Bruins, who for the majority of the past few years have been the bane of the team’s existence. Be it through hindsight on trades, regular season scorn, playoff heartbreak, and everything in between, the Bruins have done nothing but be a gigantic piss off. To be fair, they’re a piss off to the other twenty eight NHL teams and several others who haven’t been granted relocation or expansion yet.
But today is a new day, and a new opportunity for the Leafs to defeat the super villains of the hockey universe.
The Leafs
Projected Lines via DailyFaceoff.com
James van Riemsdyk – Tyler Bozak – Phil Kessel
Joffrey Lupul – Nazem Kadri – Daniel Winnik
Leo Komarov – Mike Santorelli – David Clarkson
Richard Panik – Peter Holland – Morgan Rielly
Dion Phaneuf – Cody Franson
Stuart Percy – Roman Polak
Jake Gardiner – Stephane Robidas
My only hope is that Leo Komarov plays like, 48 minutes tonight. Put him out there with every group, with his sole purpose being to piss everybody off. Morgan Rielly isn’t actually playing right wing, the Leafs are running seven defencemen.
The Bruins
Projected Lines via DailyFaceoff.com
Milan Lucic – David Krejci – Seth Griffith
Brad Marchand – Patrice Bergeron – Reilly Smith
Chris Kelly – Carl Soderberg – Loui Eriksson
Dan Paille – Gregory Campbell – Simon Gagne
Dennis Seidenberg – Dougie Hamilton
Torey Krug – Adam McQuaid
Matt Bartkowsi – Zach Trotman
Milan Lucic is a dick, even when he’s not pretending to play with his. Brad Marchand’s nose has a better chance of becoming a planet than Pluto has of making a comeback. Every time I see Simon Gagne’s name on a team’s roster, I go “oh right, he still exist”. I feel bad for Marc Savard but his existence in the Bruins lineup is cap circumvention. Reilly Smith is the least relevant Mimico Hockey graduate in NHL history. Loui Eriksson has had the “underrated” tag for at least half a decade too wrong.
Zdeno Chara is so old that he gets hurt from his own hits. Adam McQuaid has the most New England-sounding name in NHL history and he STILL had to be taken from Canada. Kevan Miller doesn’t know how to spell his first name. Dougie Hamilton is well on his way to becoming the most linemate-sheltered defenceman in the history of the National Hockey League. Andrew Raycroft won more games in his first year with the Leafs than Tuukka Rask has ever won in a year. Okay, that one was pushing the limits.
Starting Goalies
Tuukka Rask faces Jonathan Bernier. Rask is an expert at creeping people out with his Finnish Metal Library, while Bernier is an expert at being French-Canadian. In seriousness, Rask can singlehandedly win games – Bernier occasionally has that ability too, but you don’t see it as often.
Final Thoughts
You’re encouraged to use the comments as a platform to express your disdain for the Boston Bruins. Seriously, talk all the crap you want.
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