Ranking The Free Agent Goalies On Everything BUT On-Ice Performance

Friends, if you follow me on Twitter, you might know that I have a bit of a goalie thing. I love goalies. (almost) All goalies. They’re weird, and intense, and flexible, and fun.

This off-season is showing us an unprecedented number of free-agent goalies. Each time a new name enters the mix, my heart rate picks up a bit.

I was told I had to rank my “is for me?” goalie list:

So here we go. My ranking of the free agent goalie list, going off of available information right now, and totally based on my personal opinion of these goalies and nothing analytic at all.

I’m using this list:

Ready or not, Mer’s definitive free agent goalie ranking:

Social justice king and all around amazing dude, with an equally amazing wife. What more do I need to say?

He is SO WEIRD and smiley, and hangs around the ice like a cat.

The KING and fashion king. Do I need more of a reason?

He’s cute, and probably an actually decent goalie or whatnot. He’s won some Cups. He’s solid.

I have no legitimate reasoning for this other than I know him better than the other remaining dudes and also it was really emotional and touching when his team paid tribute to his dad, who passed away early this past season. Canucks fans seem to like him a lot, and I have some Canucks fan friends.

He seems cool. Edited to add: Jon tells me he’s a sweet twin dad, so that ups him a bit. 

He probably deserves a chance to play somewhere other than Detroit.

I really don’t like the Islanders.

 

There you have it! My free agent goalie rankings, based on pretty much nothing. Should I do one for the goalies who are being shopped by their teams, according to the rumours? Hint: I like both @Marc-Andre Fleury AND @Darcy Kuemper.