The Brozie Playlist

So Jeffler goes on Twitter and asks everybody for article ideas. You know, because he’s lazier than Alex Kovalev in a preseason blowout. One of his suggestions is this..

So, I’m all  "that’s brilliant, you should do that". He’s all "waaaahh I’m Jeffler and above that, I’m just going to write a prospect report or something". If he’s not going to write that article, I will. If he doesn’t like it, he should pick a password that’s more secure than grabovski84. 

I’ve been taking crap from fans and reporters for this one for months. Don’t care. Mike Will Made It’s beat is great. The song is mad catchy. It’s not like we’re having twerking competitions in the dressing room or anything (for some reason, Gunnar is on another level and would just embarrass us). The only person who doesn’t like it is Lupes, but we usually just load a mens fashion blog onto an iPad and he gets distracted anyway.

Okay, it may not actually be romantic, but my bromance with Phil is a little bit obvious at this point. This song reminds me of our hopeless place, an absolutely dreadful roster when I first came into the league. Joey Crabb played with us and Ron Wilson was our coach and it was just so bad and.. who am I kidding, I don’t have an attachment to this song, it’s just been stuck in the locker room list for years and now I have Stockholm Syndrome. Dion has an obsession. It’s a little creepy.

To be honest, Lashes walked around the room handing out copies of his debut album and made us all take blood oaths to listen to it for ten minutes a month. Keeping a track on shuffle is the easiest way to accomplish that.

It has Call of Duty in the music video and I’m pretty sure it’s on the sound track. How much more could you ask for?

That’s my dude right there. I’m pretty sad that he’s retiring just as he was starting to mature his sound, so I’m keeping it all emotional with one of his latest hits. Besides, it reminds me of what I’m doing to all the people on this site with every goal that I score. I also keep a couple more of the Biebs’ tracks on standby for whenever Randy yells at Jake. Works as a great pick-me up for the kid.

Bollie is BFF’s with him, he’s a big fan of The Phil, and even Rotten Ronnie was a fan of his back in the day. Plus, he represents Toronto, and we kind of have the same boss now. Also, Bernie and Reims seem to love to scream the hook at us a lot while we’re on the ice for some reason.

You’re all so quick to point out that I’m 27, but just as quick to remember that I didn’t start my NHL career at 18 either. I’m only in my fifth NHL season! There’s lots of room for me to grow. You may say "well, that would make you 23", at which point I’ll tell you that you’re overthinking this suspension of reality.

What, you thought changing the goal song to that stupid Lil Jon track was MY idea?

…Too much?

MJ will forever be one of my favourite artists, and this is probably the most underrated of his #1 hits. That said, the title gets me a bit carried away sometimes.

My playlist bangs in the whip, it bangs in the locker room, it bangs in the faceoff circle, and is better than yours. Catch me tonight as I increase my shooting percentage to about 70 against the Avs. Brozie out.