To The Jersey Tosser
9 years ago
A few hours ago, the Toronto Maple Leafs lost their second game of the season to the Pittsburgh Penguins. We learned some things, like that Jonathan Bernier, Phil Kessel, and Stephane Robidas are probably still nursing injuries, because they’ve been, well, uncharacteristically bad. We learned that Sidney Crosby, unsurprisingly, is still amazing at the sport he’s been atop of for years. Lastly, we learned how long it would take for somebody to rage-quit this year’s team in public.
Four days. We are four days into the regular season. Here’s the thing about this jersey-tossing statement – it’s really stupid.
What You Were Thinking
The Toronto Maple Leafs’ failures have plagued your soul for too long. This season is clearly another lost cause, and it’s time to make a public statement against the cruel machine. So you rip off your jersey, your material connection to the team, and give it back to the players. They have failed you for the last time, and though that may be a pricy item you’ve given up to make your statement, you don’t want it anymore anyway.
You’re free. You’ve escaped the blue and white disease forever.
What You Actually Did
Teams start their seasons off with two consecutive losses all the time. Remember, there’s only three ways to start a season; two wins, two losses, or one of each. Even at a completely level playing field, much less against a conference finalist and an elite team, you have a 25% chance of starting the year 0-2. The Los Angeles Kings took six games to get their first regulation win last year, and lost two of their first three. They also won the Stanley Cup. Oh, and they’re 0-2 to start this year as well. The Leafs may not be very good; I think they’re a bubble team at best, but it’s too early to call anything.
Your defying statement? It’s being made to a bunch of new guys. Eight players in the Leafs lineup weren’t here last year. Most of the management staff is new. Most of the coaching staff is new. You can cling to “I’m still mad about the 70’s and 80’s” all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that NHL teams go through cycles and that most of your heartbreak isn’t on the guys involved right now. Hell, even the owner’s are only in year two. The owners, including the broadcaster that will get all that extra youtube-tie in from people watching your stunt.
You rebel against the players, who you don’t feel have reached your expectations. I mean, you payed to watch a hockey game, and you got one. Even if it was the other team that delivered it, you got excitement; two of the best players on the planet had three point nights. The team you cheer for? They lost, but they didn’t mail it in; don’t confuse being not as good with a lack of effort. In fact, you tossed your jersey on the ice at an exact moment where three Leafs that were on the ice were speculated to be playing through nagging injuries and injury recoveries (Kessel, Robidas, Bernier). Fault them for being bad, but they delivered the product and are trying their best to give you a win to go with it.
Not just that, you did it at a time that, most likely, gave you an excuse to leave. There was seven minutes left in the third period. If I had to guess, you wanted to beat traffic. Why do I say this? Because the timing made no sense! It was before an offensive zone faceoff. Tyler Bozak had just scored for the Leafs a minute and a half before. The Leafs hadn’t given up an attempt at a shot in about four minutes. If anything, this was the best they had played the entire game. What are you discouraging by waiting until then?
Oh, and your statement jersey. The statement you wanted to make was “I paid you for this thing, but now you can take it. I don’t want it. I care that much.”
Dude, you were wearing a Winter Classic jersey. You obviously felt happy enough with the state of this team within the past calendar year to devote money to a brand new sweater. The only two things this team has really done bad between your earliest time of purchase and now is suffer a statistical regression and extend Randy Carlyle, and god only knows if there’s an ulterior motive to the latter.
But lets look closer.
Well, if I look at the header image on top. I see a K and a mystery letter. If I look here, you can see what looks like a 7 on the sl…
YOU TOSSED A DAVID CLARKSON JERSEY?
That’s your statement? That you’re so fed up with the direction of this team, that you’d like them to have back the jersey of the one guy that anybody with half a brain knew was a bad idea to sign? You were sure that David Clarkson was going to be good enough to worth a jersey purchase, but you’re “throw away money and make dumb, ill-timed statement” level of fed up with this team after two games?
I guess that makes sense. Both thoughts require little capacity to think.
By the way, it may just be the quality of the broadcast, but based on the brighter than usual colouring of the jersey and sketchy interior stitching, I’m pretty sure it’s counterfeit. That would be icing on the cake; if he was giving back his acknowledgement that he’d rather support criminal activity than actually invest into the team he supposedly cares about.
Final Thought
I don’t know. The entire idea of tossing a jersey onto the ice to me, is stupid. The players on your favourite team are obviously trying their best to win; be it for you or for themselves. If anything, that might be a factor that demotivates them, which would be counter-productive.
But to do it two games in, while your team is playing their best hockey of the night, while a bunch of guys who want to contribute so much that they’re playing hurt are on the ice, using a recently-bought jersey of a guy that everybody except for a mostly-replaced management and yourself knew was going to bomb?
You’re literally the worst of a bad kind. You’re not a disgruntled fan, you’re just an attention seeker. Congrats, you got it what you wanted. Was it worth the cost of the jersey that you probably replaced as soon as you got home?
Recent articles from Jeff Veillette
