Finally, the city of Edmonton got to see first-hand what a superstar looks like.

Considering this is my first ever post game, there really was no team I’d rather the Leafs face than the Oilers. Boy, they’re bad. Like, “Travis Yost food takes” bad.

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Despite dominating the first period, the Leafs actually ended up on the losing end of the possession battle tonight. Hey, at least they started this game on time. I’ll take it.

Folks, this was a bad period if you’re an Oiler.

Darnell Nurse took a bad penalty less than a minute into the game, paving the way for the long-awaited revival of the Auston Matthews – William Nylander connection. Prince William fired a pass that was almost as pretty as he is right onto Papi’s stick, which he then buried to make it a 1-0 game.

*Extremely Billy Mays voice* But wait, there’s more!

A few minutes later, Elite Sniper Dominic Moore™ collected a delicious Eric Gryba giveaway, stormed the zone, looked off his teammates and then sniped one past possibly french goaltender Laurent Brossoit, extending the lead to 2.

Something called “Mark Letestu” tied the game for the Oilers a few minutes later, but we don’t need to talk about that. Even if we did, Edmonton would just complain we didn’t talk about it more.

However, while the goal was still being announced, Matt Martin, our protected protector, buried home a backdoor pass from Moore, restoring the Leafs lead back to 2.

Just look how open he was. How do you not cover the offensive juggernaut that is Matt Martin?

New rule proposition: if both Martin and Moore score on you within the same period, you should have to forfeit the game. It’s only fair. What else do you have to play for? Pride?

Guys, the Leafs Leafed so hard in this one.

Mr. Clean’s hillbilly cousin, Zack Kassian, closed the gap to 3-2 early on. It’s clear that Nikita Zaitsev felt bad for Kassian, choosing to just stand aimlessly in front of his net, allowing poor Zack to score. Good for Nikita to give back to the underprivileged.

Then, Connor McDavid, the Brent Gretzky of 1st overall picks, somehow tipped a Kris Russell shot past Andersen to tie the game at 3. I feel the need to specify that Russell’s shot was directed towards the Leafs net and not his own. Keep reading to find out why.

With the game tied at 3, and the Buds dangerously close to blowing this, Eric Gryba worked his magic. And by magic, I mean he took a boarding penalty with less than a minute left in the period.

That is never a smart thing to do, especially when your opponent has William Nylander.

The Golden God ripped an absolute laser past Brossoit just 7 seconds into the power play, giving the Leafs a 4-3 lead heading into the break.

Despite the lead, the Leafs trailed 32-27 in the shot column after 2.

Boy, this one was fun.

“Cowboy” Kris Russell went bar down on Andersen to tie the game at 4. From then on, the Oilers poured it on, nearly beating Freddy on multiple occasions, and essentially exploiting the sentient tree creature that is Roman Polak.

Luckily, the Leafs bent, but they didn’t break. And then the unthinkable happened.

With time winding down in regulation, my biological father, Patrick Marleau, stormed the offensive zone and tangled with Russell at the hash marks. In an attempt to clear the puck away from his own net, Russell swatted at the puck, accidentally firing it right into the back of his own net.

Or at least I THINK it was accidental. You can never tell with this guy.

I seriously could not believe my eyes. I mean, just look at this.

Finally, to put the icing on the cake, Nazem Kadri tucked in an empty-netter to seal the deal at 6-4. The Leafs walked away with two points, while Edmonton walked away in utter despair.

Thus returning balance to The Force.

AKA reactions to Russell’s own goal.

Steve was his usual calm self:

Is that you, Mark Spector?

Just Naz being Naz:

And, finally, Ian fights to bring back the Grit Chart™:

So far, the Leafs have confirmed the obvious: they are better than Western Canada.

Next stop is Vancouver, the City of Champions!