Mitch Marner will never survive the NHL

7 years ago

Yesterday, Mitch Marner capped off one of the single greatest seasons in the history of junior hockey. He finished second in OHL scoring, won the league MVP award, dominated the playoffs, won that MVP, dominated the Memorial Cup, won that MVP, and won the CHL MVP award to top it all off.

He’s the third player in history to sweep all of the MVP awards, the second youngest to do so, and the first to do it in 16 years. At times, he looked like he was using the games as practices, defeating his opponents at 80, 70, 60% intensity because anything further would have been embarrassing.

But it won’t last. At 5’11, Mitch Marner is too small to play in the NHL.

It’s been said by many and I’m going to repeat the sentiment. The NHL is a big boy’s league that is dominated by big, tough, character players who will defend the honour of their teammates by brutally destroying anybody surrounding them. Marner’s height, something he’s been picked on for by hockey eyes since he was in kindergarten, strongly correlates with having a career ending injury in his second or third shift. The numbers don’t lie:

Player	GP	G	A	PTS	Height
Marcel Dionne	1348	731	1040	1771	5’9
Steve Yzerman	1514	692	1063	1755	5’10
Joe Sakic	1378	625	1016	1641	5’11
Mark Recchi	1652	577	956	1533	5’10
Stan Mikita	1394	541	926	1467	5’9
Brian Trottier	1279	524	901	1425	5’11
Adam Oates	1337	341	1079	1420	5’11
Doug Gilmour	1474	450	964	1414	5’11
Dale Hawerchuk	1188	518	891	1409	5’11
Brett Hull	1269	741	650	1391	5’11
Denis Savard	1196	473	865	1338	5’10
Norm Ullman	1410	490	739	1229	5’10
Dino Ciccarelli	1232	608	592	1200	5’10
Bobby Hull	1063	610	560	1170	5’10
Daniel Alfredsson	1246	444	713	1157	5’11
Theo Fleury	1084	455	633	1088	5’6
Ray Whitney	1330	385	679	1064	5’10
Joe Mullen	1062	502	561	1063	5’9
Pat Verbeek	1424	522	541	1063	5’9
Henri Richard	1256	358	688	1046	5’7
Doug Weight	1238	278	755	1033	5’11
Martin St. Louis	1134	391	642	1033	5’8
Brian Bellows	1188	485	537	1022	5’11
Dale Hunter	1407	323	697	1020	5’10
Pat Lafontaine	865	468	545	1013	5’10
Steve Larmer	1006	441	571	1012	5’11
Brian Propp	1016	425	579	1004	5’10

Wait. Those must be the wrong numbers. I don’t know how I managed to crunch them so poorly. No worries, though; we play in the present, not the past. A land where anybody who can’t dunk a basketball is banned from entry. I dare you to find me a single top six forward in the league this year that stoops as low as Marner does, let alone shorter.

Player	GP	G	A	PTS	Height
Patrick Kane	82	46	60	106	5’11
Sidney Crosby	80	36	49	85	5’11
Joe Pavelski	82	38	40	78	5’11
Johnny Gaudreau	79	30	48	78	5’9
Artemi Panarin	80	30	47	77	5’11
Claude Giroux	78	22	45	67	5’11
Nikita Kucherov	77	30	36	66	5’11
Brad Marchand	77	37	24	61	5’9
Mats Zuccarello	81	26	35	61	5’7
Jussi Jokinen	80	18	42	60	5’11
Matt Duchene	76	30	29	59	5’11
Kyle Palmieri	82	30	27	57	5’10
Tomas Plekanec	82	14	40	54	5’11
Zach Parise	70	25	28	53	5’11
Vincent Trochek	76	25	28	53	5’10
Alexander Steen	67	17	35	52	5’11
Max Domi	81	21	31	52	5’10
Jeff Skinner	82	28	23	51	5’11
Patric Hornqvist	82	22	29	51	5’11
TJ Oshie	80	26	25	51	5’11
Lee Stempniak	82	19	32	51	5’11
Pavel Datsyuk	66	16	33	49	5’11
Ryan Spooner	80	13	36	49	5’10
Jordan Eberle	69	25	22	47	5’11

Yeah, well, he’s still going to have to put on weight. Something about an NHL summer, or whatever. How can we expect him to keep up his ~58 point NHLe from this year if he can’t bench a small car?

Whatever, man. Should’ve picked Laine.

Mitch Marner will never survive the NHL

Recommended Reading

Check out these posts...