Where art thou, Auston? Thursday night hockey against the Minnesota Wild! Nothing quite like it!

The Leafs played a hockey game where they could’ve scored some goals and then didn’t. Dump. Chase. Dump. Chase. Lose. Let’s get right into what could probably be classified as the most boring game of the season so far, a 2-0 loss against the Winnesota Mild.

Moral victories!

Dump. Chase. Dump. Chase.

To sum it up bluntly, the Leafs had a pair of power plays in the first period and didn’t score on either of them.

Oh, and Tyler Ennis scored a goal for the Wild, leading to at least 743 people watching the game either be confused that he’s not playing for the Los Angeles Lakers, and/or confused that Tyler Ennis is still in the NHL.

Did you want to see some goals? Well, you picked the wrong period to watch! No one scored!

And guess what? The Leafs still didn’t look great! The Leafs kind of rinky-dinked around the neutral zone for a bit, creating few offensive chances while not really providing a whole lot of excitement, either.

Hey, another goal against!

Well, they tried! Oh, they tried. They skated! At one point, Connor Brown came in on a two-on-one… and missed the net.

It would be great if there were some Leafs goals to tell you about here, but, uh, as they’ve been doing lately, they didn’t score a single one.

It isn’t a pretty game when you get shutout, and really, there wasn’t a whole lot to get excited for. Not a whole lot of rushes either way, not a whole lot of dynamic hockey, and the Leafs missed the net more times than you can shake a stick at.

bleh.

On the Leafs? No one. On the Wild? Why not Alex Stalock, who pitched a shutout despite Paul Romanuk nearly jinxing it while also completely bungling the final few words of his broadcast.

Our friend Melissa sums up what we’re all thinking…

A kind of game you’ll probably forget about by tomorrow, and with good reason: the Leafs are back in action tomorrow night against the Red Wings.

See ya later.