Okay, maybe you specifically didn’t believe us when we published our April Fools piece about Mitch Marner being used as a defenceman for the rest of the season, but it certainly didn’t end up being our most-clicked-on non-editorial because nobody believed us.

The piece dropped after a game in late March when Marner was actually forced to take a couple of reps on defence in a pinch. The star forward and former Selke nominee has routinely played the point of the Leafs’ power play, often the first man back when the team uses the ‘5-forward’ unit like they have a few times in 2024-25, and has proven that in case of emergencies, he can skate on the blueline and hold his own.

Here’s what Sheldon Keefe [didn’t] have to say about their [fake] confidence in playing Marner on defence.

“We feel as though we’ve got an opportunity to be innovative and solve a major issue all at once,” head coach Sheldon Keefe told reporters via phone call press conference from the Tim Hortons’ drive-thru at Kipling and Horner, just steps away from the team’s practice facility in Etobicoke. “Especially with guys like [Timothy] Liljegren out long-term, there’s an opportunity for Mitch to log some heavy minutes with an offence that we feel is deep enough without him.”

If the Timmies drive-thru part didn’t sell it for you, then this [not real] quote from Auston Matthews, who was in a severe slump with only 15 points in ten games at the time, should do the trick.

“It’s obviously been a tough go for a bit here, but I think this lineup really has a chance to excel with Mitchy back there.” Matthews quipped in between one-timers at the still Keefe-less practice.”It’s gonna be like being on the power play all the time. He might hit 60 assists in his first three games back.”

Ask any Leafs fan if they’d like to see the team play as though they were on the power play all the time, and they’d probably say no, which is funny considering their top unit consists of a 60-goal centre, a 90-point selke winger, another 90-point winger, and a player capable of hitting anywhere between 60 and 80 points. In fairness, this team has been prone to overcomplicating their game on the power play, and it would probably be even worse if Marner was playing defence full-time.

Nevertheless, Marner stuck to playing forward for the rest of the season, but everybody knows that he would do it if it was asked of him. Why wouldn’t you want a chance to be hockey’s…Bo Jackson?

“Can’t say this is something I’ve done before, but I’m looking forward to giving it a go.” Marner [didn’t] say following a 17th attempt at the Michigan. “I mean, how many players have gotten the opportunity to play forward and defence before? Brent Burns, Dustin Byfuglien…Bo Jackson?”

Either way, if you don’t think Marner’s capable of it, don’t tell that to Morgan Rielly, or he won’t be shy about how he feels about it.

“You’d be a fool to think Mitch can’t do this.”